sitting, waiting and wishing

Thursday, March 31, 2011

SEWEL??

aaaaa...KOKUHAKUshitai kimochi afuresugiru rase mcm nak kickbox somebody....dousuru?? :-)

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7:49 AM

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

UNICEF Malaysia's Direct Debit Program - UNITE with UNICEF and UNITE fOR change.

Most people mesti penah dgr pasal unicef kan? Its under UN-but not exactly run by the UN. More as an NGO.
So today was walking in the mall..skali nak ter'kucil',lari jap carik toilet. waktu dok cr toilet tu lalu dpn this one booth UNICEF. aku tau UNICEF ni related to charity for children, its an NGO under the UN. aku lak mmg dah lame dok fikir nak adopt a child la, support a kid la..pernah gak dgr pasal support a child programme but dunno how to start.so ape2 pon pegi toilet lu, pastu kuar tu lalu dpn the booth dgn harapan the ppl there wud approach. and good enuff, one of the guys approached and started talking this and that..aku dok rushing x focus sgt pon the details tp time tu mmg dah decide nak sign up. ade byk programme for monthly donation for UNICEF, the lowest is rm38. so i figured, i cud spend abt that in a single receipt at Watson (contoh je..) or over a meal on weekends. but with that donation cud bring a (maybe small) difference to less fortunate children. in malaysia, the UNICEF focus on children at rural areas an orang asli...mainly for children survival(vaccination, HIV & AIDS campaigns), education(books and tools in schools) and against violence(building bully-free invironment) etc..so dlm rushing2 tu sblm org yg tgh menunggu tu bising cpt2 soh mamat tu sign me up. isi borang settled in abt 5 mins camtu, amek yg paling min je pon - pinjam ayat mamat tu ' ..dont be married to this program, so the minimum is good enuff ~' rase secured nak join as we cud stop the donation just with a phone call- whenever we feel like we've supported enuff. ultimately, i still have that may-be impossible dream to adopt a child, but ideally, its not easy. not married (which largely effect the authority evaluation for adoption), not owning a property yet etc, it looks like i stiil hv a long way to go...dont know if i'd ever be able to honestly..but this small monthly donation is at least a start of giving sthg to others without that big responsibility. *anyone interested just search for UNICEF Malaysia. there r infos on their website for those interested to make a one-off or monthly donation*

11:22 PM

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POST-running Effect~

ok..bgn pagi hari isnin with body aching all over. nampak sgt dah lama x exercise..br buat sket dah sakit badan. mcm org tua~~so gotta take a few days to cool down br can run again i guess. Owh its tuesday, and i'm going to work with no 'work plan'..uhh its gonna be a 'long' day.......

7:39 AM

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Sunday, March 27, 2011

of friends, food and park debut~


perihal hujung minggu...
*note: all pics by my E72. takde mood nak usung camera wiken ni*

*sabtu*
dimulakan dgn jogging keliling taman perumahan sabtu pagi. boring dan cpt semput!

lain2...ke midvalley/gardens. sempat lepak borders dua jam sebelum meet up with a bunch of uni friends. c.t citer life experience pasal jishin and tsunami kat nihon last 2 weeks.goosebumps sana sini biler dgr citer dia.
lps tgk movie 'merong mahawangsa', dinner at italianies the gardens - thanx to c.t yg nak belanja hari ni. so makan2 sambil gossip biase..
the food hmm..not bad. suprisingly. dulu makan first time x suka pastu terus ban. yg ni sedapla pulak..especially the desert! mmg makan tanpa menghiraukan kalori bluekkk!!!


dinner at italianies 'candle light' due to 'earth hour' ~
*makan style sharing-the-maring sbb sumer large portions. even the deserts pon twice normal size!


*sunday*

waktu dinner smlm ntah mcm mane terjanji lak ngan opah n jep nak jogging kat klcc park pagi ni. mamat dua org ni mmg running junkie. esp jep, mmg marathon nye level. opah lak mmg running freak. mcm just nice la pulak ade org nak jadik gang berlari utk aku nye 'park debut' haha~
or so i thot at first..
bgn2 pagi dah mcm rase nyesal - terus sms opah tanya " jadik ke tak?"
jawapan dia " jadik laa..nak gerak dah ni."

owh demm...terus lompat bgn dr katil, siap ala kadar pastu gerak jugak.yelah kan nak gi jogging, bukan nak gi dating. kang lambat abes kena hentam lak ngan pakcik tu nanti.
kekyoku aku gak sampai dulu klcc park, si opah lg jauhla actually dr putra heights tuh. dia sampai 5 mins later.
tunggu punye tunggu si jep lambat plak..aku start dulu dgn walking..then later opah start pastu jep pon sampai..so masing2 layan phase masing2.
results: i did 2 rounds of fast walking (=2.8km) + running (2.8km) +cooling down walking one round (1.4km). one round is equiv.to 1.4km btw..walking nye timing aku x set. tp running tuh in abt 20mins. agak slow aa...sgt menguji mental terasa cam nak stop running and just walk tp bebudak ni ckp biar slow tp try dptkan 20mins non stop...so layankan jugak padahal dah lenguh gilerr...
klcc park nye surrounding best, ramai gak runners. ade yg tolak stroller baby, mat salleh pon ade, pakcik2 tua yg nampak sgt fit pon ade, bebudak pon ade..gaya mostly mmg mcm dah biase laa..
gerun giler tgk yg terer2 tu lari laju cam tak hengat..
parking pon senang, betul2 tgepi park, dpn masjid. kalau boleh pasnih nak maintain jogging on weekends kat sini. at least sampai dpt tpt lain. kalau tgk condition tadi, rasenye selamba je kot jogging sorg pon takde hal.


after abes running, dah cool down sumer, we walked to pelita klcc for brekkie. temptation lagi nak makan roti canai tp instead follow the boys amek tosai and half-boil eggs. tosai dia sedap!!! seriously! kurang masam dan garing.errr,...tosai tu cpt jek masuk mulut dan perut x smpt nak snap :p



settle brekkie, layan sembang lagi then made a move around 10.30am balik rumah. aa keta dah byk..sejam br sampai umah as opposed to 40mins pagi td!

aa..kena siap2 kuar gi shah alam plak. lunch date ngan rosa n sas kat masalam. sempena sebelum rosa nak fly ke nihon for her phd. kekyoku makan washoku. quite nice. n cheap la gak. lama lepak sembang2..then gi jakel BESARRRR kat sek.7 tu. first time sampai situ agak kagum la. asalnye rosa yg nak beli kain..tp mata ni dah start melilau. kalau lama lagik mau kena sambar gak sepasang...tp seb baik tak lama! fuuu..tak boleh...damage buat baju utk adik nye wddg tak ilang lg rasenye. baju+upah dkt rm400!so tunggu nak raya aa baru buat baju lagik.

then sas pon dah kena balik. family commitment la katakan. aku lak anta rosa balik umah, lepak plak kat umah main2 ngan umar wafi and iman hasya:-)
sukanye budak dua org ni. umar dulu takut org..skrg mcm dah kenal plak. sebok ajak org layan dia main. hasya lak sgt chubby dan comel. tp kigen agak warui la today.
umar yg dulu nak salam pon susah, td before balik dia salam cium tgn, pastu siap peluk lama2, then kiss kat pipi. sangat kandou. mcm dia tau jek nak gi jauh lps ni tatau bile lagi jumpe.
umar jgn lupe 'kakak' ye? huuuu..


left their place before maghrib...by the time sampai umah lapo la plak. tp cam dah mkn mcm2 dua hari ni,,,so light dinner jek, whole wheat bagel and dragon fruit.
hearthy and yummy tho a lil' bit lonely.
hmm..i can deal with that.

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10:00 PM

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Saturday, March 26, 2011

running!!

..so the hunting for sthg consistent to do that wont leave me too idle on my free time goes on. ok so i cud sit somewhere, switch on my laptop and kill those time editing photos..but to be honest it really takes a lot to be sitting for hours on a weekend after already doing so 5days a week at work!!! and i thot abt starting taking orders for my baking stuffs..well i do hv a few stuffs that i'm quite comfy abt. still blurr on the pricing..and a lil worry abt commitment. so whats next? aha there is this other thing - this has been sitting in my mins for quite some time but never been pit into action because i thot it wont be nice doing it alone. i've been wanting to start running-or jogging as many ppl call it..hey i may not be the fastest when it comes to running but i used to do quite well in long distance (cross country etc) back ine days!! plus, its high time that i start some sort of an exercise regime with the diet plan. its getting difficult staying on a 1200kcal diet - so i cud eat more, but burn the extra with running! so last night for the first time i searched and searched the keyword 'running' and suprised to learn so many things! there are actually 'running programmes' for beginners like me to achieve a certain goal. the programmes are like how one shud run on day 1 then day 2 and so on..for example running 5mins then walk for 2 mins followed by running for 5 mins and so on - repeated 5 times. then the 2nd day - run lightly in a phase one could maintain a conversation...and so on. examples of goals are loosing weight(could be my goal!!) and more serious ones like running for km5 run after week 7 etc. i do hv friends who run in those marathon and stuff..so maybe i cud join them one day. for now shud focus on getting started..can i do it? well i never thot i cud diet but i did manage to diet(loosing 7kgs in 45 days!!) so i guess when there's a will there's a way! problem is where to run? one thumb of rule is to run on designated surface. i went to sleep last night planning to wake up early today and drive to taman metropolitan kepong to test it's 3.7km course but it was near 7am when i woke up, did some mental math- it cud take me at least 45mins to get there so timing was already out- i want to vr early morning..so instead i went running around my housing area, making a circle from one side to the other :p uhuh..no crazy dogs or weird ppl around like i always fear hehe..so i lasted 30mins of running+walking:...penat sehhh!!stamina kaput!! but its a start! if i make it a habit it'll be for my own good, not for money or nthing(like it is with taking more photography jobs, or taking orders for cakes N stuff!!!) cant wait to find that time to run somewhere nicer like a park or sthg :-)   *Am officially off from the diet drink that i took. fine enuff it helped me shed maybe 5kgs off in 4weeks..but its too expensive!plus, now that i know how to diet, think i cud survive without any help. been worried this past 2weeks coz i&ve been cheating more that i thot i cud-The wedding weekend full of cakes and sweet kuihs. nasi minyak, mutton;asam pedas, sweet drinks etc...but i tried to control once i'm back here-tHo still with occasional cheats( like ice cream, sup tulang..owh and kfc!!!)..but still maintain no sweet drinks, and 6-7servings of vegy/fruits per day. and what a wonderful suprise this morning to see that the scale has gone down another 2kgs since my last check after the wedding 10days ago!!!!! weee weeeee~

9:13 AM

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Thursday, March 24, 2011

about somewhere..

I really need to learn how be alone without being lonely coz i totally suck at it...being alone too much lately makes me want to elope for a while. like totally dissappear - to a foreign island, or land. or hill. or sthg. i wonder if i run away or suddenly dissappear one day, will it even be noticed? will i be missed? cos i dont even hv anyone that totally knows where i am, not even my parents ( old habits of doing things my way..)...owh demm..i cud be sucked into the black hole or got lost in the sea and ppl wud think i'm about somewhere..cos thats what i do mostly..just about somewhere..i know, me n my freaky mind. cut it short, i'm lonely. enuff to actually admit it (and suck up this painful broken pride!!!) :-| *for now, am trying to just sleep on it*

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11:00 PM

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

my sister's wedding - part 1



alamak...byknye gambar..give up nak letak sumer huhu..so there it was - part 1 la sort of.
nikah - berinai - khatam Quran.
others later...(kalau rajin~)


































Semua dah selamat. Nikah dan bersanding on our side on the 12th&13th of March. Alhamdulillah everything went 'safely' tho maybe not as smooth huhu..it was raining cats and dogs on friday and saturday, but on the 'kenduri' day itself, the weather was just nice. not too hot and no rain.that was a great relief.

Not much to say..am just glad everything is settled.
Praying for an everlasting partnership for my sister and her newly married husband. Amin.
well..let the pics say some words (..of what i managed to snap among the chaos~)

10:32 PM

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Sunday, March 20, 2011

refugee for a day


hmm..
lately mmg phobia biler nak wiken - phobia biler ade hari weekend yg xde plan, and xde idea nak buat ape. kadang2 penat nak plan. tp biler follow the flow randomly most of the time end up jd kosong and depressed plak...

ari ni plak mcm kena jd regufee - lari umah utk sehari. sbb hsemate nye family ade sini. segan lak, ade abang ipar, anak2 buah dia skali..kompem x reti nak duduk bawah..dan bilik plak mmg by pkl 10am dah not-livable dah. panas!
so mau x mau kena cr port lepak memane la..
ok jek..leh buat 'keja' kat mane2..satu jek prob lepak sorg2..sgt tak suka mkn sorg2. mcd lak ala2 separa-ban skrg.
aa..so see la how today..

p/s: maybe kena ade aktiviti ujung minggu yg konsisten kot..
sambung belajar?
baking class? voluntary work?




8:43 AM

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belated bday treat ~

-my coach leather poppy highlight in sweetheart-





akhirnya~
tercapai gak hasrat gile nak this one particular treat for bday this year - albeit lambat almost two months. but never mind, nice things take time i guess hehehe..yelah jauh plak kena naik kapal dr US kan. worth the wait since the bag has not even reached m'sian market and i cud hv it at a much lower price~
*sape minat, sila google 'shopping with ayu'. a nice girl staying in the US, easy to deal with, but hv to wait maybe up to a month to get the bag - depending on stock*

kalau difikir-fikir panjang mmg takkan beli..mcm dulu2 gak..but so what kan, duit sendiri, penat keja sampai kadang2 xde time for personal life, a little tangible reward for self is called for :-)

its big and practical, just the style that i love. esp. when it comes in the prettiest pink!
ok, so now i hv a matching handbag and lappie lol~
pink freak? uhhh...

p/s: 5 years ago i wudnt even buy a pink pair of socks. what happened to me??! :-)


8:24 AM

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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

messy me?

i'm a mess i know...
always mess things up..and make them complicated.
and nothing hurts so much than knowing that there's no one else to blame.

...

:-

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8:55 PM

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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

back at work!

..back in the office after the long-weekend. sister's wedding was held on sunday, but the event pretty much started friday with 'rewang' troops beginning to pour in...the packing team/tukang masak team/balai and canopy team etc..the nikah ceremony was on saturday(ater isya'), quite ramai gak nak cater for malam tu punye jamuan so masak2 pon boleh tahan. all in all all, samua dah selamat- adelah kot hiccups here and there, tp first time wat majlis, pulak tu agak besor gaklerr..logikla ade panik sket. Details later koT..with some pics. yg penting today dah masuk kEja. almost midnite smlm br sampai sini after antar 3 org penumpang(bukan penunggang ye!!)...tired. physically and more mentally. as expected some still wont leave me in peace..still tak muak2 dgn soklan2 cliche yg memuakkan..tak faham betulla..if only i cud be invisible, but i cant so selagi mampu mmg terpakse tahan je :-| Well at least for now 'radio rosak' boleh berenti rehat jap drpd mengulang statement fake dan cliche-at least untill the next family gAth or if i'm lucky, raya maybe! which is why mak' s cousin's wedding lg 3weeks pon rasenye malas nak gi kot. i've had enuff...honestly, berada dlm suasana majlis utk org yg sgt rapat mcm tu makin menguatkan rase nak settle down. tp as it is Allah knows best, dan bersabar is honestly the only thing i cud do now...cuba utk yakin ade yg terbaik InsyaAllah. so tho i'm still such a mess; but i've been worse before..this is actually me handling it quite well,taking one thing at a time and trying my best to feel life to its fullest~

4:07 PM

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Saturday, March 12, 2011

earthquake & tsunami

dlmt2 sibukt2, smpt jugak perasan updates on ppl's fb walls pasal earthquake & tsunami happening in japan - while the red alert for tsunami is due for many other countries including malaysia. ade seorg kawan yg kebetulan on bis trip kat chiba area katanya, shops even 7es are so close sampai diorg dah xde food nak mkn. dinner hr ni dgn keropok je. just imagine kalau esok pon kedai still tutup...local ppl maybe ade emergency kit or sthg where they keep supplies for times like this, tp utk org2 yg selalunye cuma melihat gempa dan tsunami di kaca TV, everything is shocking. seorg lg kawan katanya kena berjalan 10km utk bAlik!!of coslaa train, subway sume lumpuh...Subhanallah,semoden-moden pon, semua hopeless bila ditimpa ujian dan bencana. sorang lagi kawan kebetulan hari ni balik kl, sempat naik flight pagi..kalau lambat lg 5jam, tergolongla sama ngan org yg stranded sbb flights sumer delayed. pengalaman sendiri, Alhamdulillah x pernah rasa gempa yg skala lebih dr 5. paling kuat pon 4 lebih kot..first time rase dlm kelas..jakun kejap. it must hv been the look on my face yg buat senseI tanya ' eHH, hajimetedesuka?' which i answered shyly 'soudesukedo~'seb baek x lari masuk bawah meja!!! paling kuAt pon rase, waktu gempa kuat kat niigata akhir thn 2002 ( eh ke 2003??!), time tgh berbuka puasa ngan 3-4 org kawan tetiba meja bergoyang. tgk tv immediately ade info earthquake sekuat haMpir 7 skala ritcher- tu berlaku kat niigata, kwsn kampung yg byk sawah padi. gempa sekuat tu kalau jd kat big cities-tokyo, osaka,kyoto,nagoya..takleh dibayangkan..kejadian kali ni menukar mitos kepada realiti-metropolis sepertI Tokyo sebenarnya sgt fragile pada bencana seganas gempa. 

12:50 AM

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Friday, March 11, 2011

REWANG random

1. i so vow if possible will try to convince mak to not ' masak sendiri' when it's my time.2. The thing 'rewang' is that,while we may not hv to worry abt all the work need to be done since there are (too) many helping hands, its quite impossible to avoid being suffocated in the chaos,tending to everybody's questions, and needs. owh and not to mention the tiring part of preparing meals over and over again throughout the rewang period that cud start as early as 3days before!!3.the trick to simply avoid being too friendly with these makciks seem to work!! at least for day 1.4. space and time is men's biggest enemy and shall be a point of consideration for everything.5. it is quite impossible to diet in the environment of a wedding. willpower needs to exist for 10 times stronger!!! 6.money flow like water.whether you are the one getting married or not...7. you suddenly realize how many ppl in the neighbourhood you dont know!! dang~

11:52 PM

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Monday, March 7, 2011

random

random1. hari ni lapa mcm hampir nak makan nasi lemak for breakfast..akibat x makan proper meal since saturday night.        random2.keja mandom( read:xde keja).naseb org yg x masuk projek baru. xpe blessing in disguise. kasi can rest kejap, and focus on other stuffs.           random3. sedang lapar dan x sabar nak lunch time. breakfast cereal n susu dah x jalan...*tetiba terbayang freshly toasted wHolemeal bagel..uu sedap2*               random4. masih dizzy sambungan smlm..kurang gula kah? tp aku mkn buah agak byk aa..             random5. need to buy shoes/pumps/killer heels by the weekend.ni seyes.if not weekend ni baju glemer, selipar jepun. ari ni/esok/lusa kena gi primavera klcc  angkat kasut yg tgk itu hari ( x beli sbb nak usya lain) AAAA...br pkl 11!! cptla lunch!!  

10:53 AM

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Sunday, March 6, 2011

|penjara|


wahai sayang
kembalikan hatiku
dari penjara kasih hatimu

biar ku beri
pada yang lebih tahu
mengerti dan merindu

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11:11 PM

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*dizzy*

 cik puan tuty(I know u're reaDing hehe..)..adakah pening2 lalat tu tanda kurang baik pd aku nye diet?or is it my body trying to adjust. at first ingat mcm pening sbb overdose on sleep..tp satu hari sampai ptg dizzy tak ilang..trAck balik weekend ni punye makan- sabtu: epal+jemput2+teh o+n.ayam+fresh oren W/O sugar+jambu air (no dinner sbb tido mcm pengsan). ahad:oat with natural honey+1/2 wholemeal bagel+banana+epal+siew pau 1pc+pear+ulong cha...out n abt,x jumpe healthy options yg bleh ditapau..tu yg end up mkn buAh je..cr nuts nak buat snacking pon sumer salted uhh..geram tol...dinner blom lg..seyes pening2 cam nAk tumbang- am i depriving my body too much off sugar? rase kalu x dinner ni mau x bgn esok pagi..tp mls nak masak :-( sedikit depressed la..miss a hearthy good meal shared over a meal with some great company~

8:34 PM

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Friday, March 4, 2011

small rewards~

okeh so this week mcm a bit staignant. ok ade la turun sket 1.5kg kot..ok la tu, since da x amek sgt that diet shake. nak abeskan this box pastu nak stop haha. but guess what..ade satu jaket masuk kilang yg b4 this cannot zip (shame2~), smlm pakai dah bleh zip!!selalu sure sangkut kat perut and ass!!kuakuakua!! small rewards, but enuff to prove that when there's a will,there's a way :-)  So nvm la kalau its taking longer time to get noticable results.YOSH!! 

10:04 AM

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

complicated...


aa
complicated la.
next week is the big day. first time parents nak nikah/kawenkan anak.
as anak sulung-yg sendiri pon belum kawen aku pon tak sure ape peranan aku..benda2 yg aku tau, ade la aku tanye dah cukup ke tak, leh tolong carikkan etc.. tp benda2 related kenduri kendara ni seyes taktau.
tp mak abah asek call dgn soalan yg confusing..tanya balik bila la, cuti bp lama la..sampai naik kompius aku ke yg nak kawen ni? rasenye (mmg kompem pon) bukan..
mcm hari ni..boleh tanye this weekend balik ke tak, mane lah tau cuti seminggu sebelum kenduri..ish kalau sendiri kawen pon belum tentu dpt cuti seminggu..
aaa..wedding tu next weekend je, perlu ke balik this week? biler tanye ade pape2 ke?takde pulak..aku pon concern gak..barang2 nak beli smua tu since kenduri nye masak2 sendiri, sbb satu hal transportation problem utk diorg. perlu ke then aku balik minggu2 nak dkt kenduri ni? nak kata jauh takla sgt tp dekat sgt tu pon x jugak la..aku tak berkira langsung pasal minyak, tol sumer tu..tp pasal nak drive pegi balik dlm masa 2 hari tu je..nanti balik mcm hari tu, takde ape pon aku leh buat..mungkin aku tak selesa gak sbb perbualan satu hari pasal benda tu..kalau ade sthg nak buat, aku ok tp kalau 24 jam nak bercakap pasal benda2 ni aku rimas.
aaa ~

but i guess tinggal next week je pon, mmg tak sempat kalau nak balik this week..ape2 hal tepaksela tunggu jumaat dan sabtu utk berkhidmat sbg anak dan kakak.
amek cuti jumaat dan isnin utk panjangkan wiken tu pon kira beruntung..berebut ngan org2 yg nak cuti sempena cuti sekolah nanti..tu pon tak betul2 apply kat sistem lg ni, tunggu akhir minggu ni..

tp papepon kalau diorg ckp betul2 minggu sekian nak ke sana ke sinun, nak pegi beli itu beli ini, senang kalau aku ade, tak kisah je nak balik...mcmla tak kenal aku nye peel, tanya2 tak makan. ckp je terus.
jahat2 pon, ade hati perut lg kaklong sorg ni.
esp. utk mak n abah...

9:53 PM

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