sitting, waiting and wishing

Sunday, November 29, 2009

raya korban dan nasi minyak

tol 1/3

sunset from pantai minyak beku

rengit kopitiam- girls day out

a summary of the long weekend home...

back in BP for hari raya korban. but literally, nothing much of raya itself. witnessed one korban but it was unplanned - didnt have my camera. cud've documented the moment. sayang2~
but had a lot of raya food. ketupat, lodeh, rendang etc. lotsa yummy happy food ~
think i've had more that 5 servings of raya food on friday only!!

Mak was busy me-rewang for kenduri-kendara saturday and sunday - in BP we call it 'berangkat' where in some places u call it kendarat eh??!- so us lots spent quite sometime outside. kejap pi C4, kejap pi BP mall...then back to C4. bored with rengit kopitiam, lepak old town plak. like cant get enuff la with the hassle of finding parking space!! oo and i thot OU je susah nak park ye....

sunday, took them to 2 kenduri. first kat kampung. and the second of yan's friend - this one is a bit more interesting. kecoh when the rombongan from Perak had to bayar tol to 3 lapis tol, with about 50 toll collectors altogether.
naseb baek sporting~
very beautiful wedding. sian photographers nye guests sumer takmo duduk waktu pengantin on the pelamin. sure tensen jek nak shoot haha~

sunday evening...finally found my way to pantai minyak beku. pantai yg tak berapa lawa in BP. but great for sunset. unfortunately there was a big dark cloud over the sun when we got there.. and worse, when i checked back the pics, there were spots lah. need to clean or maybe service ni....

tomorrow (monday) will head back to KL. work only starts wednesday but for some reason have to go back early. thinking if maybe i cud get naz & bashir a few hours on tuesday, i cud at least make it worth it going back early.
it'll be damn busy starting wednesday so wudnt have time for another session soon.

seriously just thinking of how crazy the first half of december will be makes me sick to the stomach.
guess i just hv to go through it.
at least once its over, it will be only 2 weeks left, and i cud close this chapter and start another.
there's that planning to go to that kursus on 19th and 20th, free on the 25th-26th..another job for majlis akad nikah insyaAllah on the 27th...and after that maybe a little new year getaway somewhere still undecided...

new year kinda reminds me of lotsa scary things.
need to get my mental ready in this next 4 weeks ~

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10:31 PM

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nur kasih-an ~

finally, it was the finale of nurkasih.
was looking forward for it, but ironically didnt enjoy it that much.
cudnt help feeling that the ending was a bit stupid - jejak kasih on a train?
oh yes its just a drama.

here's some conclusions i made from this drama...

- the characters love making decisions for other people. practically everyone. the parents, adam, aidil, alia and even nur amina.
and they dont feel guilty about it. they somehow feel that they're doing a favor!

-and likewise, the characters also like to let others make the decisions for them. as if they're obliged to.
these two, are perhaps the main reasons of everything in this movie.

-urmmm..everyone is kindhearted and unbelievably un-selfish, except Sarah who's almost retarded. nur actually waited untill episode 26th to finally give her a smack right in the face!
the character sarah shud really win her best (supporting) actress..

Aidil says his love is only for alia, but he almost gave in to his mother and his own wife ridiculous idea. if it wasnt for nur strongly opposing to the idea, he wud've taken nur as his 2nd wife. aidil is kind, and seems like a man who can be fair and square. but the point is, men seem to be easier in accepting a third person into the relationship. first adam, then aidil?

-urrmm this may seem irrelevant, but the 2nd child syndrom may be true laaa as far as this drama is concern. look at Sarah! haha ;-)

- good people always die in the end... (=Katrina) in the name of making a true happy ending for adam & nur.

- Adam was saved from some terrorists oversea, and he came back home alone? unannounced? and looking like some bangla jual carpet LoL.
mane Wisma Putra punye org ni??

- it wasnt a kenduri for akad nikah, but nur was wearing a lacey selendang like it was... logik tak?

- aaa byk lagi nak komen. bukan tak suka. tp saja jek haha.. takde keje...
part jejak kasih-an atas train tu almost made me cry laaa ( almost jek ok...)... if not for the senget tudung, and the bangla look ;-)

- last but not least, the last scene in front of the house, di sebalik bendang tu. mmg perfect.
despite the fact that adam married the woman aidil once loved, and aidil almost married his brother's wife, teh two brothers proved that nothing's greater than flesh and blood.

next drama...tak payah follow lah.
nanti jadi obseessed lagi, pastu tak puas hati dgn ending LoL.
baik tunggu yours truly jadi director of her own 'drama' hahaha...

4:32 PM

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Thursday, November 26, 2009

new moon...

i am kinda glad...
the pain is the only sign he was real~

ok, still not crazy about it yet
but i think its time i start reading the twillight saga hahaha

10:15 AM

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Monday, November 23, 2009

useful infos

...mlm isnin yg normal dan boring. went out for dinner with new housemates for the first time. turned out, they`re quite fun haha~
so i was just browsing for infos while waiting for the laundry to be done...and found a few i was looking for.
not ready to do just anything yet. but its good to know that it is really possible ;-)

people might think this is another one of my emotional tantrums, but believe me these thoughts had not generated overnight. and i am actually quite at peace with myself.
everything has to start somewhere.
so while some things are totally out of my control, i believe now that i shud take control of what i can and not let fate decides everything.
i dont always know what i want, normally i`m more clear of what i dont.

but this is one of those exceptions.

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11:53 PM

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missing sunlight

selamat pengantin baru, nazirah&bashir

lovely farhana, see u soon darling~

Alhamdulillah..back from the trip to kelantan.

believe it or not it was raining all the way - from kl to kelantan, then throughout the wedding day and all the way to sunday from kelantan to somewhere in Perak...rasanye dah dkt masuk selangor baru it stopped.

terasa sgt rindukan matahari~

will story later on the wedding and the trip itself tired loh.
but i`m glad i went.
not really because of the job.
but because i met some wonderful people.

Thanks ajim and sue for hosting me and showing us around kota bharu.
and for introducing me to ur kids-lovely farhana and farhan.
serious, its amazing how fast these kids bond with someone they only met for a day.

when we were saying goodbyes and salam2 before we left, farhana actually pulled me to her and when i got down to her level, she kissed me on the cheeks - twice, right and left.

how can i not be charmed with such suprise?

12:57 AM

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Thursday, November 19, 2009


rasenye la kan...
baper byk surat - ok maybe not literally surat lah - nak kena hantar sblm ada ppl yg wud finally take me seriously?
the honest truth is, the chemistry is gone.seriously...
my faith has died...after 3 years and 7months, one have to move on.
terlalu byk sbb utk tidak meneruskan what i`ve started.
racun yg satu tu, lebih2 lagi menmbah sebab - musabab.
the only thing i`m enjoying here now is the friendships, and companionships. tu pon only of some.
rindu di masa akan datang, pastinya bukan utk semuanya.

yes i can be very cold if i want to.

if i can get a new one, yg fix hours - occasional O.T is fine, but not too much- and better $$$, maybe what`s been on my mind these last few months is actually possible.

so the Q is, if money`s not a problem, and one cud come back from work on time and hv the weekends off, is it possible for her to care for another soul?
with the d/line she sets herself getting nearer, this seems like a more sensible idea than actually finding a partner.
she just wants a bigger responsible in life for it to mean more.

and no, she`s not thinking about cats or hamsters.


9:54 PM

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Friday, November 13, 2009

me and the wall~

takmau cakap byk..

i just love thi pic!

courtesy to alan yg sentiasa kontrol cool~~

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11:19 PM

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009


kerja dah mula menampakkan taring yg hilang sejak beberapa minggu lalu.
hari ni dah start stayback, settlekan hutang yg tertunggak, bahana cuti sehari..mmg betul kerja mmg tak akan habis~

masih lg jadi nomad. rumah tak settle lagi. and for the first time sejak hitori gurashi kat sini, rase tak selamat kat rumah tu...
kebetulan na* tinggal 2 weeks lg nak kawen...the timing seems perfect. hari ni dah mula bicara sket2 ngan na* and d*t pasal nak move in..they seem ok. cuma belom tau ape feedback lg sorg ahli rumah.
me personally,tak pasti sama ade dah ready nak berhousemate. but secara normalnye, insyaAllah everything will be ok..
masa yg baik utk mengubah angin dan cara hidup.
maybe i am ready to open up.

asalnye nak tulis entry ni dlm bahasa melayu baru separuh jln dah pelik bunyinye...

weird kah?

-farah yg pernah terer tulis karangan bahasa melayu.~

12:24 AM

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Monday, November 9, 2009


Beautiful places, cool travelling buddies and great food always make a good travelling experience for me. exactly the case for my jln2 around melaka over the weekend.
Tho at times i did wish i had my girlfriends coming along for those great moments ( and pillow talks!!), the melaka trip this time around was quite fun. maybe coz we had the same objectives - food, places and great photo moments~

i was smart to bring along my snickers. apart from driving around ( being lost most of the time)...we did a lot of walking on the streets. melaka at nite especially around banda hilir was very nice. we each had our cameras and tripods along so grabbed that chance to try some low light photography. and daytime around the town and around felt very rewarding and hot!!! we all got some sunburn as souveniers this time~

my 50mm is acting a bit weird arghhh so i played mostly with my ultra wide baby - great for landscapes and weird distorted potraits! this time i made sure that we had some moments captured with US in the photos! inspired by anna rine self potrait style haha~
and since there were only 3 of us its not that difficult laa ;-)

feet are aching at the moment from all the walking but i feel re-charged for the next few months to come.
thanks guys, shud do it again sometime ~

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11:01 AM

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Saturday, November 7, 2009

a weekend away~

am taking monday off so finally having a long weekend away.
it feels great to be away from my sources of troubles.

as i speak (= write?), location is melaka bandaraya bersejarah..arrived at m.ngah's house las nite - around midnite actually. going to a colleage's wedding latr this noon. then planning to go around melaka jln2 carik shots dan carik makan~
org yg originally semangat nak jln2 suddenly cudnt make it (..i sort of saw it coming..)
so looks like there'll be only 3(??!) of us...maybe more lah after the wedding today untill dinner...but the merewang part finding the true melaka sets out to be just us. easy gak, tak byk kepala senang nak handle. will be staying at a hotel tonite.
excited to shoot sunset and melaka nightlife ;-)
its great to hv sthg to smile about.
work will start t be crazy again starting next week.
i still hv to go to kelantan which the arangement is still a bit blurr.. Ro*a suddenly cant go - hubby hv to go to training it now i'm not so sure. redah jek drive berdua ngan mimi bleh??
but nway,
spent few hours this morning FINALLY updating my cv and aplying some jobs online. the ones i had already saved in my jobstreet account. now i need to register with JAC plak..

9:31 AM

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Thursday, November 5, 2009


its been like a rollercoster...
weekend was great.

then monday was such an emotional day.
something made me feel weak again, feeling so scared and hopeless.
it came to a point when i cudnt strop crying in the toilet. what i needed was just a big fat hug telling me it will all be ok.
*thanks amal for the virtual hug*
when i cudnt take it nmore, had to call k.i*a...she came to the rescue and i got what i needed.
a big hug and some sisterly advice....
i wish i cud take it alone. but its just too much to bear..
guess its rite that some things are better left unknown.

yesterday was pretty boring.
and today faced another trouble- big one. and stressfull
it is one of those days i wish i had someone to rely on.
well i survived for tonite..but the next time??

but i dont hv the energy to tell the story now...
maybe next time.


12:35 AM

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Sunday, November 1, 2009

photography sharing session with anna rina

had a blast today!!!
had that photography sharing with anna rina (
with about 10 other people - all meeting up for the first time ;-)
though i was quite nervous at first - duhh, the last time i had to meet with a bunch of strangers is like more that 3 and a half years ago!!
the session was held at maria`s cafe in Damansara Perdana, near the citibank there.
i arrived a bit early, grabbed a bite at a friend`s cafe just around the corner and headed there for the session right on time.
we sat down, have drinks and chit-chatted for abt 2 1/2 hours. anna was very friendly. everyone came up with all sorts of Qs mainly on how to pose our subjects/clients/models, how to make them comfortable and generally how to get good pictures laa~
she also shared a good deal on how she got started commercially and personally, i think thats the best part of it.
its such an inspiration to actually meet a person who`ve been through that difficult life-changing moments.
cliche as it may sound, i secretly wish if she cud do it, i cud too ;-)


11:34 PM

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