sitting, waiting and wishing

Thursday, June 30, 2011

taking a break?

update*
asalnye aku wat entry ni semalam (khamis) tp problem ngan blogger takleh nak post...
end up ari ni mmg aku cuti. selamba mintak kat boss smlm, padahal ikutkan kena mintak cuti 3 days prior. boss pon x kisah, tgh takde keja nye time..diorg kasik can jek skang ni.

so here i am..still home. cover album x siap lagik! sbb mlm td tido awal giler around 9pm, x dinner x ape. punyelah ngantok. pagi2 bgn wat keja2 umah lu - sort of cam early wiken lah. sbb esok got paintball tourney, then sunday got shopping date with amal :p
so better settle benda2 wajib by today.

uhh ok got to get back to work..finish one more layout for the cover, then off i go to jalan ipoh *hopefully ingat jalan. first time nak gi sorg2.amin*

p/s: owh btw..going to watch the talk of the town - Transformers tonight!!with housemate and mr.mysterious. haha :p

-khamis entry-

hari2 pon bosan jek dtg opis...esok nak cuti la. leh gi kedai photography kat jalan ipoh anto print custom album yg aku dok work on this past week..btw custom album dok try wat ni, first try ekceli. try and error jek guna work flow yg dpt hasil google. so far tang nak wat layout album tu, tang susun2 cam collage tu xdelah susah sgt rupanye, tp agak leceh work la gak, berpinau gak mata nak layan satu2 gitu. tp berkat melepak kat coffee bean n starbuck 2 hari wiken ari tu..siap gakla 10pages, 12x24"layout. erkk..cover lom siap, mlm ni kena wat. so skrg fingers crossed jekla yg pemahaman aku betul, and xde prob bila anto layout ni gi print and jadikan album.

all this while ekceli dan lama tingin( and perlu??!) belajat wat custom album, tp xde org nak ajar workflow dia, then tang2 kreatif ni aku fail..tp bila browse through byk org skang buat custom simple2 jek, xyah kerawang2 sgt. gitu kalu, do-able jek. in fact this time around br lah nak paham cane nak guna benda2 cam kat brushes kat p.s sumer tuh..boleh je figure out sendirik, cuma lmbt la sket :p




10:36 AM

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

pantry talk

perbualan kat pantry lps makan nasi lemak for breakfast - bye2 diet. ini bahana bila dinner smlm cuma makan tosei sebelum maghrib, konon light dan sihat. tp pastu lapar tgh malam sampai xleh tido sapai 3pagi....anyway, in the pantry, between me and two chinese guys.....
A: ey why r u wearing a ring aa?
me: aa y? cannot meh? <--ckp ngan bebudak cina otomatik slang jadik lain haha~
K: wudnt that fend off potential candidates? or is that the point?
tergelak besar terus kat situ. dan dgn penuh taktikalnye blaa from the pantry.
these fingers had been free for 29 years, did it make any difference all these years? nope. so maybe what i'm trying to do is taking a break from this game of searching and waiting. ever heard of cases where couples who have problems getting pregnant, after trying all treaments and methods possible, some decide to stop focusing on trying to conceive but to just go with the flow and enjoy what they have that's no less important - love of and for each other. amazing stories where when some suprisingly conceive naturally after taking that break. well stress is maybe the culprit half the time. maybe thats what i.m trying to do, giving myself a break and enjoy what i have now-life and myself.

10:27 AM

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

why women cry more than men?



cry: verb to bawl,blubber,boohoo, howl,shed tears,lament, sob,whine,wail, weep.

tears serve 3 purposes for humans..to help clean the eye surface; to excrete stress chemicals from the body;and as visual distress signal in a highly emotional situation.
tears are formed by a gland above the eye and are removed by two ducts in the inner corner of the eye that empty into the nasal cavity.
in emotional or distressing circumstances, the excess tears that cant be drained quickly enough by the tear ducts will roll down the cheeks...crying begin at birth and it's prime purpose is to stimulate loving and protective feelings in adults.

so why women cry more than men?

crying is a way for a baby to get what it wants, and as adults, this behaviour is perpetuated by some women.
for men, crying in public would make him look week in others' eyes and this would encourage others to attack.for women however, to show emotion to others is seen as a sign of trust.

Anyway..apparantly crying has 3 different purpose:
1) as an eyewash!
crying serves to remove salt and other impurities from the eye. tears also contain an enzyme called lysozyme that kills bacteria and prevent eye infection!!

2) as a stress reducer ~
stress tears-those that roll down the cheek, contain different protein from those for eye cleansing.
*like seriously?*
this is why women say they feel better after 'a good cry', even when there appear to be no good reason for crying.
tears also contain endorphins, one of body's natural painkillers, which acts as a damper to emotional pain.

3) as an emotional signal
tears act as a visual signal asking others to hug and comfort the weeper and they encourage the production of the hormone oxytocin, the hormone that makes a person desire to be touched and cuddled by another person.

*from the book, why men lie and women cry by Allan+Barbara Pease*


10:12 PM

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Monday, June 27, 2011

kalenjar hingus!

Kenapa bila menangis hidung jadi berhingus?dan kenapa manusia menangis in the first place pon? apa kaitan emosi dan perasaan dgn kalenjar air mata?..dan kalenjar 'hingus', kalau ada? almusykil.

2:47 PM

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strange silent.

its quite practical, packing up workstuff and driving up somewhere where i cud just sit somewhere for hours, with a cup of single shot espresso machiato, or a grande glass of bittersweet dark mocha frappucino - stay on the net on free internet..playing, editing and learning. at least it comes with a lil' feeling of accomplishment compared to just stayin home alone sleeping and whining over boredom. weird enough tho, in the midst of the crowd and the noise, it sometimes feel strangely silent. so silent its deafening.

10:31 AM

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Saturday, June 25, 2011

aku yg degil!kkkkk

aku ke yg degil?..minggu ni je 2kali - smlm dan hari ni ajak pakcik tu gi makan pas keja. dua-dua kali kena reject. adela dia punye excuse but for all i know maybe he's just running away. making me suffer now than later kot. as if i dont know him that much.

smlm kena reject pastu balik umah terus mogok xmau makan pape terus tido sampai perut masuk angin pg td..seb baek xde gastrik tp sampai rase menggigil gakla sementara nak bekpes tu.. ari ni pon, even aku sendiri kenyang makan late lunch kfc, tp saja ajak gi minum td ptg, sekali ngan a few others gak. yela hari jumaat yg x buat ape2, gila tak best balik rumah awal2 pon. aku tau dah kalau balik awal, x mkn pastu spoil abes mood satu wiken.
again x jln gak...still senang sket hati dpt rilek2 lepak2 minum teh tarik ptg2. dia ade ke takde sama jek..but i guess aku sebenarnye just nak some time ngan dia jek..

punyela tegar dan tebal kan kulit aku ni kan? mane tak, aku penah rase nak let go but x dpt. susah nak let go biler org tu keep coming dlm mimpi a few times after aku bwat istikharah sblm2 ni.3 kali dah ekceli..ke sbb aku terlalu fikirkan sgt? ke sebenarnye mimpi tu petunjuk to let it go? tatau la x berjaya nak tafsir mimpi2 tu..tp yg pasti mimpi2 tu lg buat aku susah nak let go walaupon rase mcm makin lama makin jauh..salah aku gak, lately maybe aku x rajin nak tegur2 sembang2..bukan ngan dia jek tp ngan sumer org. and pakcik tu mmmg pe'el dia la. kalau aku x start, lglah dia pon bisu. tsk. susah jadi degil ni, degil makan diri satu hari nanti :-(

Ya Allah, jika dia bukan pemilik tulang rusukku,
janganlah biarkan aku merindukan kehadirannya…
janganlah biarkan aku melabuhkan hatiku di hatinya.
Kikislah pesonanya dari setiap pelusuk mataku,
dan usirlah dia dari relung hatiku
Gantilah damba kerinduan dan cinta yang bersemayam di dada ini,
dengan kasih dari dan pada-Mu yang tulus dan murni.
Bantulah aku agar dapat mengasihinya hanya sebagai seorang sahabat.
Tetapi jika Engkau ciptakan dia untukku, ya Allah,
satukan hati kami…

Bantulah aku untuk mencintai, mengerti dan menerima dia seadanya
Berikan aku kesabaran, ketekunan, dan kesungguhan untuk memenangkan hatinya.
Urapilah dia agar dia juga mencintai, mengerti dan menerima aku dengan segala kelebihan dan kekurangan sebagaimana aku yang telah Engkau ciptakan.
Yakinkanlah dia bahawa aku sungguh mencintai dan rela berkongsi suka dan dukaku dengannya.

Ya Allah Maha Pengasih,
dengarkanlah doaku ini…
Lepaskanlah aku dari keraguan ini menurut kasih dan kehendak-Mu.
Allah Yang Maha Kekal,
aku tahu Engkau sentiasa memberikan yang terbaik buatku,
luka dan keraguan yang aku alami pasti ada hikmahnya.
Semuanya ini mengajar aku untuk hidup lebih dekat dengan-Mu,
untuk lebih peka terhadap suara-Mu yang membimbing aku menuju jalan terang-Mu.
bimbinglah aku untuk tetap setia dan sabar menanti tibanya waktu yang telah Engkau tentukan.
Jadikanlah kehendak-Mu dan bukan kehendakku yang terjadi dalam setiap hidupku, Ya Allah.



12:37 AM

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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

idle.

biler aku sampai leh update blog berkali-kali lam sehari tu, x laenlaa..mmg tahap xde keja abes. naseb lom masuk mane2 new project, projek lama dah selamat so hari2 gi keja naik kabas kaki xde keja..huhu..owh ye btw, projek lama @ the new myvi Lagi Best dah launch. first time follow development new model from start, agak excited. nama pon myvi, so mmg still nampak cam myvi la kan..adehh..tp actually mmg most portion, parts upper body tu part baru dr myvi.  cantik ke tak? subjektif kot..terpulang la pada market nak judge. mintak2 sales melambung-lambung. lehla berangan nak dpt bonus lg this year..despite producution down sket hari tu sbb tsunami. kalau tak, truth is, aku sayang keja kat sini..environment kira ok, keja so-so challenging gak(bila time projek la!!), kawan2..tho lately aku mcm tak berkawan ngan org. haha. dtg dah pe'el suka jd cam 'island'. lately masuk balik cycle nak tukar keja, start carik2 gak tp owh susahnye..nak jumpe yg cam worth to apply tu agak susah. i mean after 5 years of cos u have certain expectations kan. and otherwise, employers pon wud hv certain expectations of u.  dont know la but kdg2 rase mcm stuck je where i aM.cam dah lame tak jumpE org baru..asek deal pon ngan org yg sama. kdg2 rase cam org keliling bertukar and berubah, tp aku cam sama je.life somehow feel static. and selain keja mane lg tpt utk meet new ppl? kat pasar mlm? kat starbucks tpt aku lepak tiap ujung minggu bila bosan sorg2? or Borders tpt aku baca buku free? Aaa..life is not as in the movies unfortunately. things dont happen as random. byk aku nak skang..latest, finally aku finally pledged as a registered organ donor after lama gak niat nak wat. x bgtau pon lg family, cuma bgtau adik sorg jek. next, nak make that call lah start volunteer for Pertiwi Soup Kitchen..seyes nak wat but skrg cam xleh commit since they r mostly weekdays. abes sports day leh kot...maybe shud start with friday since friday la aku paling tak suka balik rumah dok sorg2 sunyi giler....lps abes sports gak, maybe pas puasa nak amek swimming lessons gak, survey2 paling skt pon pj or shah alam.tu susah dok ceruk tokkun. then there's this boredom with life issue. need to start focus on sthg that i cud achieve..all this while aku dok pk, duit x cukup2 nak beli rumah sesorg. simpan lu sket2 utk kawen, konon senang biler nak kawen xyah risau2 pasal duit. pastu nak beli rumah dua org lg senang dr sorg kot..senang dan surely lg exciting. kata berdua lebih baiK. tp big mistake, sbb x nampak pon bilanya nak ade calon tu..abes tu sampai bile nak tahan life mcm skrg? baik aku focus keja, bisnes, dan tukar keja if perlu so that leh beli rumah ke, xyah besar2, asal selesa dan selamat. preferably rumah. not that aku mampu nak beli umah besar pon haha. dpt umah cam kat nihon jenis one room apartment sekali ngan living,dining, kitchen tu best gak-tp not that small la. mcm lam citer kimi wa petto. minimalised and cosy. lgpon nak dok sesorg kan besar2 kang takut. eh bunyi cam aku dah ready (dan redha) jek nak dok sesorg kan.. haha. maybe. merajuk tunggu impian taknak jd nyata? maybe jugak. tp kalau sooner or later aku akan end up mcm tu, i might as well embrace it now kan. it will probably be easier to face.

2:52 PM

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metaphor.

maybe i like the pain. maybe i'm wired like that. because without it, i don't know maybe i just wudn't feel real. whats that saying...why do i keep hitting myself with a hammer? maybe because it feels so good when i stop.

10:02 AM

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Monday, June 20, 2011

diet! The truth.

dah lama x ckp pasal diet kan. hehe..i wasnt open in the beginning pon ekceli..xde org yg tau nape aku start diet, what was my starting weight etc. now maybe is the time for the ugly truths. sejak azali mmg aku type yg besar. ingat lg kecik2 lu kat tadika lg aku dah mm besar dr org lain...sapai la sek rendah, menengah. thin, was never in my dictionary. and i never bothered. cos i've always been healthy. tink am quite on the fit side, no problems to be active in sports etc. in fac, i a quite a sports person. b.m.i2 ni mmg x penah heran la...sampaila by the time abes belajar, start keja aku ingat lg weight tu was 86kg. berat kan? but that wasnt the max. tp time checkup ke ape, x penah plak doktor soh turunkan..pelik2.masuk keja, memula turun 4kg in a month, tekeut ngan new environment kot. and since then, over the last 5years, its been going up and down. tp recent 2years, mmg byk up kot. dgn habit suka makan, love for sweets,suka jalan2 cr makan, aktiviti ngan friends mesti pasal makan, lack of exercise..then tambah teruk dgn stress and depression, sedar2 jek by end of last year i've gone past 90kg. to be exact, ( deep breaths~!) 95kg!! bera giler kan? tho og maybe tak sangka sbb aku tinggi, abt 169cm. but still kalau kira bmi, i was 32.9 - dah masuk range obese tu! ngeri bile tgk biggest loser asia, takut if one day jadi mc org2 tu. and at that time, aku nye self esteem pon agak low. mcm2 pk. aku x pena rasa mc tu, but time tu aku start relate benda ni ngan aku nye social life etc. maybe it does contribute to why guys are not interesed. pathetic, but well men in general do hv that certain favouritisme, right. it will all come down that one person who wud take me for what i am,  but the process may have been less difficult had i been a more ' fit' person. well, u know what i mean. and then there was the big family wedding in feb bla2..so i decided i need to loose some kgs. so i stated, firs with debella. some diet drinks that supply extra lecithin and fibre for the body..kononnye benda tu help to loose weight easier. and the same time, aku start cut down on sugar, kurgkan nasik, minum air byk giler etc. first month mmg smgt gila.lost 5kgs in 6weeks. owh btw aku star end of feb ye. Lps tu stop amek debella, konon nak diet sendiri, tp agak slow. pantang gula dah let go sket...sekali sekala still mkn sweet deserts. pastu mid april dah start sports, so mkn kurang sgt kang cam xde energy lak..dlm masa 6weeks start april sampai mid may, x measure sgt weight but time wat med.checkup mid may tu i weigh at 87kg. pastu die dok staignant je x turun2, sbb x kontrol sgt pon, pagi2 siap bekpes n:lemak kdg2. tp aku happy time; so i didnt care. sampai la recently masuk bulan 6, aku byk stress and down, honestly mcm purposely nak menyakitkan diri..lost appetite for a week sedar2 bila measure last friday, tinggal 84kg. aku tatau la tang mane yg turun, sori aku sgt malas nak measure inches..maybe ade gak faktor makan hati yg buat aku x makan then loose kg mendadak, but still better drpd aku stress pastu makan x stop kan? bila aku sabishii@Sunyi mmg ade habit mogok makan pon; so ni la effect nye..lg senang susut. so skang 83.5kg(bmi 29!) still overweight, ikutkan kena dpt 72-73kg gitu..cam x logik kan?mau xleh pakai sUme baju kalu gitu..but thats what the bmi says kalau nak bmi25 for my height. so lg abt 10kg laa nak buang..which seriously Xtau bp lama masa nak amek..tp aku sgt teringin nak tgk sama ada aku leh ke tak..for now at least targer nak turun jadik 80kg dulu..by july. sebelum puasa leh start dgn 7* nye weight.

9:42 AM

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Sunday, June 19, 2011

lu...janggal.

bila kita dah terbiasa dgn sesuatu, janggal rasanya bila yg sesuatu tu tiba2 tiada, atau hilang atau berubah. waktu ada terasa terlalu biasa, tp bila hilang baru sedar signifikannya. macam udara(02) yg disedut tiap saat..cuba kalau Allah tarik nikmat itu tiba2, barulah sedar agaknya betapa besar beza..Allah boleh dan akan lakukan pada setiap insan bila sampai masa dijanjikan-Nya...the point is, apa yg aku rasa hari ni hanya satu kenormalan random yg tak boleh langsung nak dibandingkan udara dan nafas..sudah dijangka hati akan terasa bila yg normal tak lagi biasa, bukan satu atau dua mungkin dalam byk perkara. tp bila rasa itu datang dalam salah satunya hari ni, sebak dada, menggigil rasanya. rasa yg agak kuat dan nyata..yg rasanya akan berlegar utk seketika...ada ketika rasa melayang tanpa fikir apa2. berjalan mengikut kaki, tanpa hala setakat meghabiskan masa. imbasan masa lalu seolah bermain dpn mata macam wayang, mengejek dan mencemuh "padan muka, aku dah kata~" aku boleh huraikan satu persatu apa yg aku rasa tp sehari dua lps aku ada janji pada diri sendiri utk telan je walaupon pahit. dunia tetap berputar pada paksinya, bukan pada paksi apa yg aku rasa. 

11:10 PM

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Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..aku bertaubat kepada Allah.Aku bertaubat kepada Allah. Aku bertaubat kepada Allah. Dan aku kembali kepada Allah. Dan aku menyesal ke atas apa yg aku telah lakukan. Dan aku berazam bahawa aku tidak akan kembali berbuat dosa utk selama-lamanya.Dan aku terlepas drpd tiap2 agama yg menyalahi agama Allah.Dan aku bersaksi bahawa tiada Tuhan yg berhak disembah dgn sebenar-benarnya melainkan Allah yg esa, tiada sekutu bagi-Nya. Dan aku bersaksi dgn sesungguhnya bahawa Nabi Muhammad S.A.W itu rasul Allah. Aku telah redha bahawa Allah itu Tuhanku, dan Islam itu agamaku, dan penghuluku Muhammad S.A.W itu nabi dan rasul. Ya Allah,limpahkanlah rahmat dan kesejahteraan ke atas junjungan kami Nabi Muhammad SAW,keluarga dan para sahabatnya sekali..Kurniakanlah kepadanya kesejateraan yg sempurna dan jadikanlah penyayang dan pengasih terhadap kami dan org2 mukminin sekalian...amin amin yarabbal amin. 

12:26 AM

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Thursday, June 16, 2011

kenyang perut suka hati..kalau x kenyang?

after being staignant for a month or so, blaming it on morning nasik lemak and happy hormones, but not that am complaining since happy is good. stepped on the scale this morning and suprised  to see that i've lost 2kgs this week. now its getting close to a new digit number at the front. cant help but feeling excited tho it wasnt intentional...so between being full and happy & hungry and crappy, maybe its not sthg that i get to choose. its a domino effect u cud almost feel immediately..but if the later cud lost me more kgs soon, without even having to plan a diet, maybe i can turn the crappy hormone around ~

7:48 AM

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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

MERANGKAK..

...bilerla nak rasa ringan hati ni? still rase ade 'hole' besar. lom jumpe lg smgt...cpt2la boleh solat..Alhamdulillah everyday am getting better but not a day hv since passed without an emotional blackout moment. hampir kantoi few times with my red eyes but am getting better at hiding under my mask. hv even lost appetite on almost everything. didnt eat proper meals for 2 days but now been forcing myself to follow others for lunch to avoid the unnecessary attention..having dinner date with naza n jam today, hopefully will bounce back my spirit and my appetite. i just hope they dont touch on the touchy subject cos i fear i might burst and screw it all up.

3:17 PM

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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

holding up.

i say life feels incomplete. but then how can i ever know, if its never been complete..? this big imaginary hole is holding me down but one day it'll go away. i'm feeling stronger than yesterday, slowly but surely. come to think of it, this shud be good, finally now that all my fears has passed and done, there's nothin else to be afraid of or hold on to. for all i know there's a whole new world to know and to see. it cant get any worse..if time is not too cruel. to live in fear of what the future may or may not hold will only be my own loss at finding the sweetest things of whats going on in my life now.  

2:56 PM

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Monday, June 13, 2011

messy monday.

it feels like the slowest day ever. i hvnt spoken a word to anyone today. dont want to be here, but i had to come to work tho i literally hv nothing to do. i'm here just for the sake of other ppl..i feel out of place yet cant tell anyone, so its a never ending monologue with myself. God i even feel guilty writing this out here but i had to, else i'd burst. wish i cud just be somewhere else in my own space and mind. maybe just sleep the whole day. i'll be ok but rite now i'm just such a mess.

9:58 AM

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Sunday, June 12, 2011

hah..mmg lah. tetiba awal plak period bulan ni, cycle biase mmg perfect 28days tp this time around br 21 days dah dtg::hormon ke emosi?...dahla dtg time kat wedding. panik2. tak dptla nak puasa next week..br ingat nak direct 4 hari..

3:11 PM

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Saturday, June 11, 2011

bittersweet?


what bittersweet moments.
again witnessing a good friend tying the knot brought me almost to tears.
i did it with yam, then amal. then now with this bestfriend cum colleague cum adik.
maybe not in that particular order :p
not all people cud maybe understand why its very emotional for me, especially because he's a guy friend and i dont expect people to. maybe i dont even need to stress how blessed i feel to share the happy moment, which was why i was there right before it even started untill the end ( sambil selit2 shooting of cos) :p
i mean..it wud be weird to even try to justify it i guess.

but i was there today, and will be there tomorrow, a simple proof that the sentiment some people had is just not true.
(when a friend i had a crush got married last year, going to the wedding was not even a question~). sometimes when in doub,t i do wonder if what ppl thought had the slightest truth, and during those moments even i cudnt answer as heart is a complicated thing. we cud say one thing when the heart actually thought differently..
but going through these events finally gives at least myself the ultimate answer.

guess it is just too overwhelmin to take..and the thought of loosing a partner in crime who normally would be the one who gives me that slap in the face, or that kick in the but*.
but as time goes by, i'm sure we'll figure out the right way to stay in each other's life, the way me and my other friends still do.

uhh..
now all who're close to me are married!
i dont hv a single bestfriend dahh..

it's official.
kareshi..nope, danna boshuuchuu yek! i'm in need of a cupid's charm :p
haha~

7:19 PM

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PD revisited!!


It all started when amal asked when can we have a sleepover session anytime soon?
(ok..trying not to sound like yam's blog entry lol~)
i always had sleepovers at amal's parents place before she got married :p
after that, we had one at yam's place when K.S was not home for an outstation to Japan..catching up sambil berlepakan dpn TV, sambil makan ice cream and munching on junk food lol~
then in january we went to bukit tinggi for my birthday. it was gloomy all weekend - rainy season la, but we really enjoyed the room, while not outside trying not to get wet heh..
ayra had good time playing with the rabbits, err while i was just too gelikkk.

so last few weeks, amal initiated the idea of going for another trip somewhere. i got excited straight away but held my breath while the two girls get the greenlights from their hubs.
few days later got the great news - yeye once again K.S and M.K were being a sport and wud let me kidnap the girls (plus ayra!) for a weekend trip somewhere.
so start laa brainstorming for a place to go..of cos we cudnt go too far lah since it'll be an all girls trip, waht with yam and amal being pregnant, and having ayra along. an ideal place is somewhere with a nice pool - for ayra and her guardians to enjoy as well heh..
we somehow decided on PD, since ayra have not had her beach outing yet, at first trying to get a room at the Lagend Water Challets tp with the school hols the rates are absurd rm600++ woo..so last2 i booked a room at the Thistle PD - a very nice 4-star hotel, recently refurbished with nice rooms, big pools and a decent stretch of private beach!

sampai2 pd perut sudah lapar! after checking in into the room - a very nice room by the way, with really nice view of the pool and the beach, we decided to go for a drive to teluk kemang to find lunch.
had a sempoi lunch at a stall along the pesta area at teluk kemang, really enjoyed my chooice of lauk - siput sedut masak lomak cili api. wuu tak ingat dah biler last time makan siput sedut actually. lepak2 a while, jln2 sket around the pesta, bagi ayra tgk kuda, then gerak balik.owh before making the turn into our hotel ( ok we paid for it so it is ours la kan?), made a pit stop at this supermarket mesra, buying stuff for our little dinner project that night hehe...
home made kimuchi nabe dinner lol! and a very nice one!

balik hotel terus we changed into out swimsuits - owh me and my new suits haha. excited gile. still gayat woo tak reti nak float in the pool, gayat sama level ngan ayra hehe..
bising ayra jerit aunty faarahhh sambil peluk kuat2 lam air tu, dia tatau aunty ni pon x reti swim gak haha..seb baik kaki jejak!
sejam gak berendam lam pool tu, seronok giler! too bad gambar my camera takde la, tak water proof hehe..yam jek ade amek gamba with her magic camera hehe, maybe i cud curik a photo later lol~

malam..hoho..we stayed in, making our own dinner! yam brought her mom's electric cooker, and with what we bought at the supermarket earlier, we made kimuchi nabe! with yam's kimuchi no moto and amal's cabbage rolls kimuchi, it was a miracle NOT to make really delish one!terbayang lagi betapa sedapnye nabe tu huhu..amal, biler 'kawan mak' ko tu nak gi korea lagik? leh kirim huhu..
we bribed ayra with anpanman on the lappie, while we dig in the nabe! habis satu periuk~
*and desert later with my cheese cake*

lps makan golek2 la atas katil, ayra on her own bed hehe..tak kacau mummy and aunties on the very nice super king bed :p
macam wajib pulak biler gi sleepover memane mesti memalam lepak golek2 layan cerekarama kan! kena plak citer yg best nak dikritik hehe..sampai ke sudah jugak kitorg tgk dlm byk mengomen tuh heh. abes jek drama, tutup lampu lah sbb nak paksa mek kecik tu tido..pastu tak sampai 15mins rasenye ngan mak2 budak sumer dah dlm mimpi..zz..maybe its the age? dah takde stamina nak pillowtalk lelama..dulu2 time study sampai dah mamai2 pon nak sembang lagik. sampai cakap ngarut2. haha good sweet old times :p

sunday morning, we had breakfast ala kadar in the room, didnt take the breakfast buffet. went to the beach early morning. we had fun having the beach all for us! ayra really was fascinated with the sea. we practically had to drag her out of the water! sonok main air and main lambung2 (pulak dah~) ngan aunty2.

puas main air..sumer dah penat, back la to our room, siap2 mandi2 packing2 to check out. konon nak layan pool lg pon dah tak larat heh.
babai pd, we had so much fun!
i had fun personally cos of these beautiful people who again and again are willing to take that effort to do stuff with me.
amal, u're right people who stay in our lives are those who are so commited to us. so they choose to stay even after knowing all our goods and bads.
and in our case, its a lifetime commitment i wish we cud share. family who are not bonded by blood, but by common understanding and thoughts.

love u girls lots.


our room! nice, cosy and big-big bed!

the big pool ayra keeps calling 'sea~' hehe

haaa...ni gambar curik from yam's blog :p tq babe.
(how did we manage to snap this eh?)




amal and ayra in the sunset


...same as above!

and more! kesimpulannye amal menang kategori aunty paling rajin melayan hehe..



our desert ~

our homecooked..or hotel room cooked?? kimuchi nabe! yumm!

bribe ayra with anpanman!!(unlike other kids, she's more into anpanman than upin ipin yek!)

us. blurr sket, auto focus turned to manual duhh..

memula berkepit laaa ngan (aunty) amal~

some moreeee~

and moreee~

my honeybees :p

cheese ~

ayra survived her first beach with flying colors!

it was really early in the morning, we practically had the beach for ourselves.

..ayra was just too fascinated with the water :p

pardon the big red bag! ada lens dowh lam tu..trying not to get it wet lol~

pandai gak ayra tgk kamera sambil adjust ketinggian hehe..a precious pic of the 4 of us!

7:02 PM

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Friday, June 10, 2011

crossing the bridge

ISNT IT IRONIC? WE'D S'TIMES SAY ' ITS OK I'LL CROSS THE BRIDGE WHEN I COME TO IT..' BUT NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TOOK US TO THAT BRIDGE, IT NEVER GETS ANY EASY CROSSING IT,LEAVING ALL THE GREAT THINGS AND THE COMFORT BEHIND. EVEN AS WE CLAIM TO HAVE FOUND CLOSURE IN WHATEVER MEANS, THE PAIN IS SOMETIMES TOO DIFFICULT TO IGNORE.  BUT STILL, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, CROSSING IT  IS THE ONLY WAY TO MOVE ON, SO HOWEVER DIFFICULT IT MAY BE, WE'D DO ANYWAY, KEEPING THE GOOD MEMORIES CLOSE AT HEART, AND WISHING FOR A MORE BEAUTIFUL SKY AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CROSSING. 

3:45 PM

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Thursday, June 2, 2011

updates

masuk hari ke-4 keja this week, seyes bosan xde keja dollll...at one point rase nak balik umah je tido(tp x berani!!!). tp tido lam cadroom tu dah common laa hoho. sungguh x produktif, otak pon jd lemau gini kalau lelama..time gini la start nak update resume la browse jobstreet laaa etc. malangnye cubaan nak update resume x berjaya, too open nak update kat opis..balik umah plak lambat slalu(sports etc), so end up dlm seminggu smpt update 2-3 ayat jeks...photoshop dah ade kat pc opis tp leh layan pon sejam dua jek pastu mau berpinau mata. tunggu masa nak abes jumaat jek, will be going back to BP, sambil singgah to muar to a colleague's wedding. owh sunday ade job di BP, which i just discovered to be held at a hotel hall instead of kat rumah..aiyaaak first time nak shoot wedding kat hall, freaking panic!*Still X smpt nak update pd trip, sbb x smpt nak upload the pics pon lagi huhu~

9:57 AM

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