sitting, waiting and wishing

Saturday, October 31, 2009


what goes around comes around i guess.
and sometimes it happens sooner that later.
i cancelled a plan with a friend yesterday.
and today, a friend cancelled on me - like 2 hours before the actual time!
i cudnt and shudnt be mad.
but there goes my saturday.
but hey~
i still had a great time shopping muahaha..
love the new retro-style sunglasses.
and the new shirtSSS...
and i got my pink pen-pencil from japan - thanx amal!!!
u made my day;-)

tulis nama siap2 ni taknak kasik hilang lagik!

after sending sister off to her place, actually had lunch somewhere in pj-with someone very unexpected.

the first time after 3 months.
i actually said before, to that person and to myself that untill i`ve recovered and moved on, we wont be hanging out the two of us like we used to do. truth to it, since then, i`ve never asked him, and he never asked me too.

but today was very natural. and casual.
like it used to be before.
and it still feels the same.
how i`v missed the talking when its just us.
so am i true to my words.
or am i just faking it?
yes, blame it on me.

11:53 PM

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the Shootsacs bags

this is what i`ve been looking for lerrrr...
takde jual plak kat m`sia..
takde org nak gi US ke??

11:37 AM

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Friday, October 30, 2009

nice friday suprise

Hey there everyone!
Thanks so so much for your emails about the sharing session and YES, I've included you ladies and gents for the get-together this Sunday afternoon.
Had a hard time selecting whom to invite but it was thanks to the questions that y'all included which helped me pick. In general, most of you wrote that you would like to find out more about (in no particular order);
- how do I get my couples to look so natural in the shots
- being a professional photographer
- composition, how do you come up with ideas on what angles to shoot?
There were a lot of other questions which I'll do my best to answer this during this Sunday's session but feel free to ask when the time comes. Ok, now for the details!
November 1, 2009 (THIS Sunday) at 230pm sharp till 430pm
Maria's Cafe, Metropolitan Square. Refer map here
There's plenty of parking in front and if I'm not mistaken, on Sundays it should be free parking.
It'll be an open session, sorta like teh tarik / yum cha session and I'll first reply to the main questions which most of you have emailed me about and then the floor is open and whatever questions you may have, just ask and I'll do my utmost best to reply :)
Like I said in my blog, just paying it forward. This might be the only time I'm doing this or there may be more to come in the future. So we'll see how it goes.
What do I need to bring?
Yourself and some cash for the drinks or food if you feel peckish. You can bring your gear but it won't be necessary as we won't have a shooting session. HOWEVER, if time permits, I may conduct a very brief session (using one or two of you as guinea pigs! ;p) to share how I go about interacting with my subjects/clients/models/whatever you wanna call them.
I've included everyone's email in the 'To' section in case y'all wanna arrange for carpool. If you require any clarification, feel free to drop me an email before the weekend. Looking forward to meeting everyone this Sunday!

what a nice suprise on a lame friday evening.
i e-mailed anna sometime ago to join this sharing session she`s organizing. but when did not receive any email by wednesday i thot i didnt make it.
then i came home this evening, opened my e-mail and had this in my inbox.
the only prob is that i`ve made a plan with *jiwang dude* to go streetshooting this sunday..
dude, is it possible to finish shooting by 1.30pm?
or maybe we cud do it some other time?
gomennasai~~ happy for me eh hahaha

8:04 PM

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

durian cheese cake

i made it!!!
love the cake so much when i first tried it last weekend, i put some effort to make it myself yesterday..another recipe i found online.

and here`s how it turned out.
the taste?
yummy and creamy ~~~
u`ll either love it.
or hate it.
no in betweens.


11:38 PM

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

roller-coster break

had good ( but sinful~) food with a great company for dinner. yummy meatballs~

and finally got myself some BOOKS and some of those monthly dosages of women`s weekly and digital camera.

also got some stuffs for my baking - an 8'springform tin + pie baking tin( can use together for waterbath - great for cheese cakes!), whisks and mixing bowls.
urmmm..just bought a springform tin at Gia*t supermarket but 1st trial last 2 weeks left not a very good impression.
crucial laaa biler nak bake cheese cake benda nih...
am still planning.
suddenly, rasa mcm nak drive ke kelantan next month. since i may hv some konvoi partners.

payah sgt nak tumpang org or naik bas and such.
its tempting to just hop on a bus or a flight, but patah kaki laa nanti.
plus, driving gives me the advantage of whats,whens and wheres.
5-6 hours? i`ve done 8, so maybe its not a bad idea really.
only i`m not sure if m*mi berani nak follow ke tak...

11:18 PM

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Sunday, October 25, 2009

this week to do list

things hv slowed down a bit..i`ve taken my time recovering on sleeps and rest for the last week.

its still october but alredy hv a few plans for the weekends in Nov. plans that require some planning. urgh hate planning actually.esp.when it involves other people, and i`m somewhat stuck in making decisions.
wish i cud just be a lone-ranger this time like i always love to be, but i`m tired of people judging me, of ppl making it a big deal when i do things, go places just on my own.
here`s what to expect in the weeks to come.
31st~1st; streetshooting? air terjun getaway? shopping?? <-- hv a long list of must-buys.
7th~8th; melaka/colleague wedding <-- plans to stay the weekend looking forward to some nice photography and good food.
21st~22nd; WEDDINGjob in kelantan(colleague+kohai) <-- arrangements not yet made ;-(

things to do;
-booking for stay in melaka.
-melaka whats/wheres/whens
-travelling arrangement to kelantan <-- drive/bus/flight?
wish i hv someone to drag along with~
-a decent camera bag+tripod by melaka
-gift-shopping; bday gifts(postponed &future), baby gift,wddg gifts.
this weekend?
spent saturday watching a movie with naza,opah & jem.
the surrogates was alrite, not great.
then we had a little bbq-potluck later.
lamb was great. and the 2-hours marinated chicken too hehe..
wish we cud have all 8 of us but for some reasons..another time maybe.

had the bbq at opah`s new home in putra heights. giler jeles org dah ade rumah sendiri. need to start looking too ;-)
it was already near midnite when we left the house-had to kemas2 everything, didnt want to let his mother do the cleaning up for us ;-)
turned out mummy`s boy has one very friendly and talkative mother!!interesting haha~
ended up staying over at naza`s house in pj. left after brekkie with her and family.

and been lazying home the whole day..had a long evening sleep havent had for a while.
had the BEST durian cheese cake ever at the makan2 - thanx to ayu for bringing it over. i had like 3 pcs and cud actually finish them all!
been googling over 'durian cheese cake' and actually found this durian cheese cake maker/seller - who turned out to be the person responsible for my latest craze! this is the man(yeah its a man) who made that lovely cheesecake we had last nite!
urmmm...found some recipe to try, but i`m actually already thinking of ordering one for any occasion next.

9:29 PM

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Friday, October 23, 2009

being creative...

i actually hv only one knife in my kitchen - one and only favourite.
never needed a second one.
packed the knife together with the cheese cake to the office on monday- for the raya party.

totally forgot about it UNTILL tonite, when i was about to start invading my own kitchen!!
had to marinate some lambs and make lasagna for tomorrow`s pot luck-bbq thingie.

how did i survive cooking without a knife??

its called being creative...

10:23 PM

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Monday, October 19, 2009


kasih, sayang dan cinta tak boleh dipaksa
dan sebaliknya
kasih,sayang dan cinta itu juga tak boleh ditahan

bila sedikit rasional
cuba memikir
alasan dan sebab
tapi jawapan nya kosong

jadi salah siapa?
aku silap merasa
atau dia salah menduga


11:04 PM

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Sunday, October 18, 2009

~slow sunday~

nasi impit+ayam masak mambo~
bull`s eye cheese cake ;-)

nothing extraordinary.
but ordinary never seems so beautiful and heaven ~
waking up with nowhere & nothing to rush to felt so great.

the, washing and lepaking layan facebook sampai muak and watching tv on and on...
uhuh...made some cheesecake for office`s raya party on monday - bull`s eye cheesecake i`ve been planning to make. the looks, not bad. but the taste? Wallahualam...
also rebused some ketupat segera and made some ayam masak mambo-our family`s vers. of rendang ayam.
actually cooked one whole chicken - but only had a piece for dinner, so will bring to the office lah tomorrow.

..dah lama tak bwk sthg for the pantry gang~~
and when i thot today wud end ordinarily, the phone rang.
hesitated. but picked up.
"uhu hello!!!
"genki? kat mane ni..?"
"kat umah laaa...whats up"
"eh, org nak book ko siap2 tau~"
"huh book utk ape nih? amek gamba ke? (took her photos for fun for her engagement)
"bukan2...jadik pengapit! photographer bleh pengapit nak la org yg rapat kan"
"erk...bulan berape tu"
"** hb 5 next year. book siap2 tau tarikh tu. ko ni nanti bz sgt byk xtvt.."
"!"kena kompemkan week org nak kompemkan baju bla2.."
"uhuh...ok kot. ok2..."
ok so the date is booked.

i love weddings. esp. of people i care about. my
i`ve always and still do love to help in someway.
its just becoming a little bit complicated.

11:08 PM

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finally uploaded

..finally had the time to upload them all - the pics from last week`s photoshoot of ayra, umar, mummies, daddies, aunties and granny ;-)

11:46 AM

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Saturday, October 17, 2009

worst is over

the worst is finally over.
i`ve had some really tough time at work - racing againts time and people.

not gonna compare with others. its luck sometimes. diff.people, diff task and diff speed & skills maybe. but reflecting those moments, i still think i was overload.

the tension had started to build up abt 3 weeks ago - after coming back from raya break. which is kinda expected.

everybody knew of the crazy schedule and expected it to be hard. but for someone experiencing it for the first time, to actually going through it is really an experience.

the stress never stopped rising up untill a point where i cud barely think.
and this week was the worst. working straight till almost midnight. coming to work as early as 7am sometimes. skipping lunch and dinner most of the times. only had a proper dinner on thursday, but that resulted in a record 12.40am clock out!

its crazy that they still wanted to proceed with the schedule knowing fully that its impossible to be done if we work normal hours.
the day of the big d/line, friday - i was barely breathing nor thinking. honestly it came to a point where i only take direct orders, and let others do the thinking for me. my brain kept calculating how much more time i need to finish this and that.
and i was too arrogant to ask for help - even when somebody actually offered if i needed any. guess i`m just that type.

the signs of stress were too obvious to ignore. neck pain, no appetite, upset stomach...breakouts!and it was difficult to leave them at the office gate. the image of what i was working on even haunted me in my sleeps.
and i learned some new things. been feeling nauseous for the last few weeks. threw up a couple of times in the toilet - gross i know, sorry.
apparantly it is directly related to stress. too much stress give a signal to the body for possible emergency so the body prepares itself for it- a classic fight or flight syndrom. the body focuses its energy on the limbs muscles - leaving other organs a bit dis-functional. which explains the upset stomach, and also the nausea.
sounds scientific eh...i accidentally read it yesterday in a magazine while lazying around celebrating freedom, and every word of the article felt true!!
to cut the stupid-long story short, the deal is finally over. though some items are postponed to a later date, some great deal of it was finally done by yesterday evening. weird thing is, i didnt want to go home after that. when it was finally over, took my own sweet time chit-chatting with colleagues and reading tons of emails - things i hvnt done quite a while.

people may ask why work so hard when i dont really enjoy it - well wish i cud say more than a mere because i had to.made a promise to myself, if i cudnt bare to be in the project, i wudnt want to be in the other team -doing documentations and follow-ups. so not my thing.
so there is actually only one way out. and i`m taking the initiative towards it as i speak (write,literally). hurry, while i`m in that mood.
spent the nite at bestie`s place - had a nice-homely dinner with some real nice cookies (thanks iman!!)..and later spent the nite reading mags and watching tv like there`s no tomorrow!
thanx babe for having me around, sorry been whining about my work-stress too much lately.
been coming to ur place very often lately its becoming like a second home.thanx for always having me around ;-)
lets go karaoke and shopping next ok ;-)
..and today, woke up a little late, had a proper breakfast and more free-lazy time.left around noon as i`ve made some plans with some collegues. an open house somewhere in subang bestari - and later on ambushed a fellow 'boss kecik' place. spent quite a few hours there just lepaking and playing with naughty far*sz.
btw, the awkwardness i expected wasnt too it was a nice day.
dropped by kota damansara giant later, shopping for groceries while deciding what to make for this monday's raya party. bull`s eye cheese cake it will be.

need to start googling for recipe~

10:34 PM

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

work su*ks

ok sorry abt that...

xde small kids baca blog ni kan - plg kecik pon, iman haha.

mmg bukan masanya nak ber-blogging nih.
dah 3 hari working straight 8am to 11pm (=15 hours)
even during lunch hour.
makan tido pon dah tak betul.
ari ni cuma mkn cereal for bfast, roti 2 keping for lunch and cereal lg for dinner.
might as well puasa, tp dame la plak..

tomorrow and friday dah BIG d/line. n yet still changing here n there. and mcm biasa, makin kalut, makin la stuck sana sini. time ni jugak workstation Ca*ia tu nak crash. abes 4 jam nye keja.
lps tu ngan aku2 skali crashed.
serius deymm penat.

betul ckp email siang td.
x ingat exact sentence, but sthg abt too much O.T is a signal of the company problem.
and how people shud be spending time with family and doing other things rather working 24/7 - heck we`re only paid for 10hrs.
it says sthg abt how the singles shud love themselves more, take care of their health etc..then they`ll work better and be happier.

there,a slap right in the face.
patutnye aku kontrol keja, bukan nya keja yg kontrol aku.

what i need right not is a good night sleep and peace of mind --> yg nampaknye kena tangguh lg utk sehari dua. plan to wake up super-early esok.
target to be in the office by 6am.

serious,the company is really making lotsa money while making people work like robots and not paying that much!!

once this is over, will start seriously hunting.
it cud be worse or better.
but here, is definetely not good for me.

tak kisah lah.
keja yg mandom pon takpe. asalkan tak paksa aku jadi robot.

12:02 AM

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Sunday, October 11, 2009

life' s precious gift


will definetely put up a post with lotsa pics later.
but these few...seriously hard to resist.

ayra chan-g and umar-kun, my birthdaymates first playdate ;-)
i am one happy aunty today.
thanx for being so fun n sporting!!!

12:29 AM

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Thursday, October 8, 2009


Jangan marah, sayang
Jangan hampa
Jangan sedih, sayang
Jangan berduka

Kita bebas berlari ke hujung dunia
Tanganku sedia menunggu masa
Dunia ini, sayang
Penuh cabaran

Hati orang, sayang
Pandai berdendam
Kita bebas berterbang ke hujung angkasa
Bulan bintang menunggu kedatangan kita

Ayuh sayang
Ayuh sayang
Mari kejar kebenaran.
Cinta ini, sayang
Bukan biasa

Mulut ini, sayang
Takkan berdusta
Kita bebas berenang ke hujung lautan
Ombak-ombak tak kenal makna kekejaman

Ayuh sayang
Ayuh sayang
Mari kejar kebenaran
Berlari, berlari bersama
Menyanyi, menari bersama

Cinta ini, sayang
Bukan biasa
Ayuh sayang,
Demi cinta...
-by Mia Palencia (*curik dr lana`s blog!!)

..aduhai sayang
seribu kali sayang ~

12:21 AM

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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

bulan dan bintang~

dah tak ingat biler last sekali balik rumah lps keja dpt tgk matahari dan awan biru.
lately, cuma nampak bulan dan bintang~

sibuk dgn kerja, tp at the same time taknak missing out everything in life
patutnye keja untuk hidup...
tp kenapa rase mcm hidup untuk kerja?
masa dgn my and friends terasa sgt precious

ada byk nak update
pasal raya
pasal open houses
pasal org nikah kawen
pasal projek terkini
dan pasal aku

after 2 months
of living in pain and trying to let go
tak senang, tp possible
wajib, tp sakit ~~

rasenye perlu cpt...
selamatkan diri dr jadi gila~

11:20 PM

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