sitting, waiting and wishing

Sunday, November 28, 2010

kata hati...

jasadmu jelas di mata
suaramu jelas di telinga
sakit, kerna hatimu bukan ku yang punya

sakit hati mencinta
perit jiwa merindu
bodoh rasa menanti
saat kau mengerti

ku cuba berhenti
tapi kau masih di 'sini'...

8:06 PM

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Saturday, November 27, 2010

emergency

hmm..had a great day at a friend`s wedding today.
but details on that, will hv to wait.

supposed to hang out afterwards with a good girlfriend at minv.
only to find myself stucked in the traffic jam after sg besi toll plaza..and in a bit of an emergency case. frustrated again for not knowing who to call for help...
ended up being stucked there at some petrol station for almost two hours before finally managed to continue..
ended up cancelling meeting the friend. and came back home.
5.30pm from bangi and only reached home at 10pm...

penat.

10:54 PM

2 friends sharing their thots

Friday, November 26, 2010

$$berangan$$

sikit lagi nak masuk bulan 12...mcm biasa, bulan 12 adalah bulan berangan bg those yg keja kat company yg bagi y.e.b --> $$$year end bonus$$$
utk kitorg yg keja kat company yg gaji so-so nih (??!)..bonus jelah antara main factor buleh survive..

ngan bonus ni lah ade org buat bajet kawen, gi holiday, gi umrah...simpan asb kasik lagi byk duit..mcm2 lah...invest, beli gadgets etc.

past years..mesti ade satu benda yg aku beli as hadiah utk diri sendiri biler dpt bonus..
2007: beloved eos 400d yg aku pakai sampai skrg
2008: wide lens. flash bla2..
2009: hp

2010?
azam thn ni nak beli satu jek benda best ( nak laptop sbb skrg takde laptop susah biler on the move, plus nak utilize tax rebate utk thn ni!)
pastu set aside for a little holiday( cambodia? k.k?)
want a lil vacation somewhere sometime end of january...takmo ade sini la time akhir2 bulan tu nanti...
the rest, nak save la konon.
save utk ape?
lagi holidays in 2011? ( krabi, vietnam, beijing..byk lg tpt nak gi ni)
sister`s wedding in march? ( kalau tetiba baik hati laa nak contribute..haha)
funding utk umrah/haji? ( ni kena consider budget utk parents gak..)
funding utk 'my home' d/p? (soro2 dah masuk umur wajib beli rumah nie tp takleh nak decide mane nak settle..)

owh and that endless temptation to upgrade my camera...
or ...tambah funding utk kawen? (calon blkg kira..sedia duit dulu laa kan nanti nak kawen senang lol!takyah pening2 pasal duit time tuh kecuali la dpt anak tokeh balak ke tokeh sawit!)
ade lg 2 years nak sampai time target ni..worst case kalau takde calon by then, guna saving ni utk beli 5dmark2+lenses yg best2. 2 thn lagi dah murah kot, byk barang buleh cekau tuh!
atau bleh gi jalan2 europe mcm yg diidam-idamkan sementara cik puan sarah si adik angkat masih di uk..
atau tukar keta baru..
nampak gaya mcm lg excited kalau funding tu tak dpt digunakan dlm 2 thn lagik jek!
shisshh..berangan melampau..
mcm la byk sgt pon bonus tuh!

12:04 AM

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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

random-mandom

it was badminton day.
bebudak office came up with this idea- liga badminton utk ofis kami.
ade 3 teams. setiap satu team ade sorg pempuan jek haha~
so we played in league, ada one single, 2 doubles, and one mix.
played mix (obviously), partner lak dgn mamat yg penah ade 'conflict of interest' dulu haha..siap bawak the pregnant mrs. lagi. 2-3 bulan lps maybe aku akan distracted takleh nak main- wait, most probably aku takkan nak nye pon partner ngan dia. sure akan cr excuse nak partner ngan org lain..sure akan rase loya nak muntah (serius bukan lawak, muntah tu mmg serius plus selalu sakit kepala and loya everytime terpaksa face dgn situasi mcm ni)..tp la ni Alhamdulillah dah takde rase pape.
cumanye still awkward nak gi tegur or anything. i guess hati ni belum cukup besaaaaar lagi~
tp at the same time, dah takde jugak rase bersalah kat diri sendiri. dulu selalu rase mcm bitch je ignore org mcm tu(..sorry my word, but tulah description nye feeling time tu). i guess waktu tu mmg ade benda2 yg tak settle dlm hati..now i`ve learnt that its actually possible to be kind and protect myself at the same time.
slowly i guess..

i was told that its important to keep track of little changes in emotions..baru boleh aware whether i`m on a stable mode or not..and i think its true..benda2 mcm ni biler notice, sgtla obvious bezanye cara nak menghadapi sesuatu biler dlm keadaan normal, atau dlm keadaan tak berapa nak betul..definetely feels better and calmer these days. just cudnt care more.

balik badminton dah quite late, k.z dah balik dr kl. smlm dia ade mention hari ni kena gi kl, jumpe abang dia, sekali dgn the guy in question..bincang ape yg patut kot.
selalu dia rajin lepak bawah layan tv etc..tp sampai2 td living room gelap jek.. tau jek dia tak tido lg sbb lampu still on, dgr bunyi air bilik air etc. tp takpelah, biar dia layan sendiri dulu mlm ni..
takleh nak expect ape outcome drpd meeting ngan abang dia mlm nie..

kawan yg br bgtau dia preggie with 2nd child 2 hari lps pulak, suspected miscarriage..br terbaca sms yg dia sent maghrib td - batt. kong td malas nak tukar phone..rase guilty pulak.
nak call skrg cam dah lmbt..esok la i guess, tho honestly tatau nak ckp ape nanti. hoping its just false alarm. Nauzubillah kalau betul, siannye diorg. sure devastated. but then..ajal mmg dah ditentukan..
can only pray for the best for them.
amin.

11:57 PM

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Monday, November 22, 2010

lesson to learn

*caution: another long and wet post!

ermm..
smlm mcm nak cerita sthg tp tergantung..cerita seorg sahabat, yg aku hormat juga sbg seorg kakak. takat kenal gitu2 mmg dah lama- since mula2 start keja. and honestly, antara 'akak' yg aku gerun haha~
rasenye ramai org yg takut ngan dia sbb orgnya agak vokal, lgpon a bit senior kan. ade member2 yg pernah terkena dgn dia, tp time tu deal keja pon tak pernah, rapat socially pon tidak, stkt angkat2 kening bila jumpa.
untill last year-genap a year actually-biler aku pindah masuk rumah skrg, barulah start nak kenal org nye..yep, its my hsemate.

lama nye masa aku amek nak warm up dgn k.z and d ( sorg lg hsemate yg skrg un-officially dah move out sbb moving in with the hubby after months of a l.d.m) actually. mmg aku susah nak baik ngan org - anti sosial pon ade gak org kata...memula maybe ade rase cam kurg ngam, byk benda yg lain cara dan rasa. tambah lagi time tu sampai la abt tgh thn aku tgh bengong2 dan emo2..balik rumah mmg takde mood nak bersosial.
bukan senang nak adapt bila tiba2 ade housemate after almost 4 years living alone - wait, make it 6 sbb the last two years kat nihon pon dok sorg.

back to k.z..orgnye mmg stern and strict. tp baik hati dan sgt penyabar rupanye. itu dua benda yg aku rase kenal pada dia.
asalnye aku yg sgt secretive pasal life n problem aku from diorg ni. rase mcm inferior complex. rase mcm so far from diorg. sorg dah kawen dgn org yg aku kenal jugak - somebody yg sgt baik( dan skema ;-). sorg lagi turned out rupanye dah bertunang dan tunggu masa utk big day.
tp betul ckp org, tak kenal maka tak cinta.
kadang2 terlalu mudah membuat andaian, mengandai kehidupan org lain indah dan cantik belaka lebih2 lagi tika hidup sendiri rasa sucks dan tak ke mana.

tak ingat bila, tp at one point diorg yg open up dulu. sedang aku gigih menyimpan cerita dah rahsia yg honestly kadang2 mcm nak meletup at my worst moments, diorg yg share their life story dulu
barulah nampak dan faham. kehidupan berkahwin, tp berjauhan sejauh 400km, berjumpa hanya sesekali itupon cuma utk seketika byk juga cabarannya. belum masuk soal kerenah famili dan sebagainya.
tp tu citer sampingan je hari ni, yg penting skrg ni si d dah pon bercuti panjang tunggu masa due baby. walaupon jauh dr family sendiri, i`m sure it means so much that the husband is by her side now ( and forward).

cerita k.z yg lebih tragis dan rare.
first time dgr mcm tak percaya, rase kelakar pon ade. dia pon cerita kadang dgn gelak ketawa walaupn ade skali skali dgn linangan air mata..tp honestly up to this point pon, tak pernah lg dia tunjuk emosi yg melampau. which aku sgt respect. itu mungkin bezanye org yg dah byk pengalaman dlm hidup.

nak dicerita terlalu detail rasa mcm tak berapa sesuai.
cuma dalam aku cuba nak memahami apa yg berlaku tu sebenarnya, rase tak boleh nak simpan dlm dada jek.
cut the story short, lelaki tu termasuk dlm golongan yg suka nak membahagi-bahagi kan kasih dia tp tak berapa bijak dalam menanggung dan menjawab.
belum nikah belum kahwin dah membayangkan niat utk memadukan.
takat tu aku dah give up utk berfikiran positif . cuba jugak utk optimis and sokong k.z bila dia tegar menunggu sampai recently.
aku tak faham mcm mana seorg perempuan sanggup terima lagi lelaki yg dah bhg2kan kasih dia.
tak faham jugak mcm mana seorg lelaki sanggup kecewakan hati seorg perempuan yg asalnya dia sendiri yg kejar~
dan lebih lagi tak faham dgn seorg perempuan yg tanpa segan silu nak bercinta dgn lelaki yg dah jadi tunangan org - yg ni mungkin palig relevan dgn situasi aku.
mmg la tepuk sebelah takkan berbunyi. mungkin awalnye dia taktau lelaki tu dah bertunang, tp once dah tau, siap dah bersemuka lagi, helloo..boleh pulak dgn rase tak bersalah nak pertahankan relationship atas alasan 'korg bukannya dah kawen pon '.
kalau aku dlm situasi tu, which mcm penah hampir terjadi, takkan sampai hati nak jadi hati batu meyakitkan hati org mcm tu.

biarla merana berduka sampai menangis mcm mana skali pon..hati manusia ni dikurniakan dgn kebolehan utk baik dari luka.dan kita juga dikurniakan dgn kebolehan utk lupa.
soal nya cuma masa .
yg ini aku pernah rasa. waktu luka dlm hati tu still fresh lagi, sedey mmg bukan calang2. air mata mmg jadi sahabat, setan pon semua tepuk tangan. muka org tu, suara dia cerita dia semuanya aku taknak tau. kalau diberi pilihan aku sanggup putuskan hubungan terus dgn org yg pernah aku anggap sahabat dan teman baik, sahabat yg pernah sama2 share segala kisah dan matlamat hidup. semata-mata sbb emosi, amarah dan mungkin juga dendam..Nauzubillah.
it took some time, tp akhirnya aku redha, dan terbuka hati utk menerima dan memaafkan...bukannya salah dia pon, dan bukan juga salah aku. he just happens to be in the way, where he wasnt supposed to be. and i put my guard down a bit too much.

tp tragisnya kisah tiga segi k.z ni, biler lelaki tu taknak lepaskan k.z, at the same time tak buat ape2 jugak utk end the other relationship.
senang citer, dia nak dua2.
sampaila last raya puasa biler his own mother yg decided to break it off sbb dah tak tahan tgk k.z ni mcm kena gantung tak bertali.
memula mmg kesian, tp k.z sgt positif org nya dgn cpt je dia move. dah start baik2 dgn sorg ustaz yg dia jumpe time buat umrah dulu..slowly but steadily.
k.z ni lah org nye yg dok promote2 this guy kat aku all this while knowing yg aku dlm fasa mencari huahua ( takleh blaa...)
even tho kadang2 rimas, tp aku tau dia ikhlas. sbb tu kadang2 tak sampai hati nak say no biler dia ajak keluar hang out skali...
aku penah ckp kat dia, if he`s so nice, why dont k.z je yg consider dia?
jawapan dia simple, dia anggap mamat tu mcm adik. maybe because of the age.
but err..aku rase even dgn aku pon, he`s still younger kot. so how?

nway, ingatkan dah tutup story..walaupon mmg tau yg lelaki tu still dok melobby family k.z..cuba nak pujuk balik and sambung balik yg dah putus, tp kali ni nampak yg k.z keras sket compared to the last few months.
tp kekerasan k.z tu mcm menjerat diri balik bila lelaki tu dgn selamba datang megejut bawak cincin baru dan tepak sireh, kononnya atas niat nak menyambung balik cuma kali ni tak semena2 nak terus nikah a.s.a.p.
like next month?
dr cerita, aku tau yg k.z taknak..tp kali ni dia kalah biler takde family yg support. takde family yg tanya dia nak ke tak.
tak menyokong tak menolak.
tp aku boleh bayangkan yg k.z mengharapkan ade seorg yg back her up and ingatkan family lelaki tu, lelaki tu yg bawak masalah in the first place.
bg aku yg mendengar cerita..rasa seolah-olah k.z diperangkap dan terperangkap.
famili mungkin masih menaruh harapan yg k,z still boleh terima lelaki tu..mungkin consider faktor umur etc. mungkin sbb tu diorg tak ckp apa2.
k.z pulak mungkin memikirkan perasaan famili esp. mak dia, sbb tu tak terlalu lantang nak cantas there and then...tp hakikatnya famili pon dah menjurus ke arah itu sehari dua ni. amek borang nikah, suruh k.z amek cuti etc.
sedangkan org tu tgh berperang dgn emosi lagi nak teruskan atau tidak.

dalam gelak2 pahit k.z dok malawak, mcm mane nak lari? ajak la sape2 kawen asalkan bukan mamat tu. or lari gi oversea. dan mcm2 idea tak logik.
nampak yg dia 50-50.
hati dah tak ada. tp dia tak bleh lari dr fikirkan soal family etc.

aku yg sebelum ni byk mendgr sgtla tak tahan..kena jugak ckp ape yg aku rasa. aku cuba buat k.z nampak yg hakikatnya takda sapa boleh paksa dia teruskan kalau bukan itu kemahuan dia.
ada sebabnya kenapa sampai ke saat terakhir sebelum nikah pon tok imam akan tanya mempelai perempuan sama ada setuju utk diijabkabul atau tidak. bagi kebanyakannya, itu mungkin hanya satu formaliti, ttp ia bukan sekadar simbolik. sign atas borang must count for sthg.
sedang famili k.z kecoh2 membayangkan sempat atau tidak nak nikah dlm masa sebulan je lagi etc, rasanya soal sama ada perlu atau tidak dia terima semua ni lebih penting. kalau dia sanggup letak belakang apa yg pernah berlaku, and redha utk terima seadanya dan move forward utk satu relationship yg baru, then by all means aku respect and support dia kalau dia terima jugak dgn planning gila ni. dugaan mungkin banyak, maybe amek masa utk dia respect balik the guy like before, tp its possible.
yg penting redha dan ade willing nak work it out.

tp kalau dia terus terikat dgn kesilapan lelaki tu, dan susah nak move on, tp terpaksa terima sbb memikirkan org lain, mmg aku sendiri pon akan frust and takleh elak drpd rase kesian..geram giler.
walaupon mungkin itu takdirnya.
bunyinya macam satu percaturan 50-50. it cud work out, or it cud flop.
hakikatnya mmg semua perkahwinan pon kebarangkalian nye satu per dua.
boleh kekal hingga akhir hayat.
atau terkandas di tgh jalan.
tp kalau permulaannya pon goncang, susah nak optimis yg ia akan kekal sampai bila2..
mcm mana pon, k.z terpaksa jugak face to face with that guy, discuss their options and decide.
soal nikah bulan dpn atau tidak tu secondary, yg penting sama ada dia nak atau tak.
i`ve made myself clear that whatever decision she makes, i hope she thinks through, and aku support sebaiknya.
in the end, ajal dan jodoh pertemuan di tangan-Nya. ade org mungkin kenal cuma 2 bulan dah boleh kawen.
mungkin ditakdirkan diorg ni pulak dilanda dugaan2 ni dulu sebelum dijodohkan.
mungkin semua ni bakal bg pengajaran buat lelaki tu utk appreciate k.z and jadi suami yg baik if not perfect.
byk sgt kemungkinan yg cuma Allah tau penyudahnya..
hakikatnya tak ada jaminan sesuatu yg bermula dgn baik sekalipun, akan kekal baik selamanya. dan tak semestinya yg asalnya cacat tak boleh dipermolek utk jadi lebih elok..

dlm keadaan ni, wish i cud do more than to just sit and listen.
aku mungkin bijak buat life kawan2 aku miserable mendgrkan masalah aku kadang2 ( sorry ppl u know who u are..)
but i`m not so smart at being the shoulders to cry on. style hati kering..
i just hope she stays strong and for once, decides for herself and not for the pleasure of others around her.

lessons learned, terlalu byk.
Tuhan kadang2 bagi kita kesenangan dlm sesuatu, dan uji pada yg lain.
personally, byk aspek yg boleh buat aku gembira atau sedih.
patutnye aku bersyukur dgn kemeriahan dan kasih sayang keluarga, bestfriends yg caring and very sweet, kaunselor2 tak bertauliah yg tak bosan2 menebalkan telinga mendgr problem aku and bg advise bila perlu..kerja yg baik walaupun kadang2 stress!tempat berteduh walau sekadar tumpangan, good physical and health walaupon am not exactly supermodel material, bersyukur cukup semua sifat~
and the list goes on.

mmg biler dikongsikan dgn kisah2 mcm ni, buat aku sedar that its all in the mind. ada org punya hidup yg lebih hebat cabaran tp cukup bijak menghadapinya.
kisah k.z ni buat aku malu utk terus menyalahkan diri sendiri atas semua benda berlaku..

giving me a new perception about settling down.
its not abt picking up what dress to wear, what color flowers, how much to spend on this and that..and bla2.
in the end its about finding that one person to live and share my dreams with - not the perfect man, but the perfect match- as a partner for a lifetime and beyond.
the one person i have in mind now may not be him, and i thank Allah for showing me the right way out of misery. am letting it go not because i have let him go, but i`m giving us both space and comfort. but if he is the one, then Allah knows best and i still do believe in fate.
and if it means i`d have to search on and on before finding that one love, i`d take it.
am not going to settle for second best for a short cut. not for any reason.
and if it never comes anyway, i shall not waste my whole life crying over it.

masa mungkin mencemburui
tp kebahagian yg dicari tu pasti berbaloi untuk dikejar
mengharapkan esok yg lebih bahagia
tp bersyukur utk hari ini yg lebih tenang drpd semalam


11:29 PM

2 friends sharing their thots

joyful news

another good friend is preggy with a second child. what a joyful news! tambah lg sorg flower girl@boy nampaknye hehe..as usual, aku mmg sensitif bab2 kawan2 kawen, dpt baby etc ni..the news were shared by sms and sedar2 je i was tearing while texting her when she broke the news..tsk2. giler gembeng~its amazing how time seems to fly so fast for other ppl but kinda not moving for me; in a way at least.

7:15 PM

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kahwin = trial and error?

mood mengarut sudah datang..err tp tak mandi lagi~

ni semua sbb tgk final badminton asian games nye pasal..game abes kol 10, lapar punye pasal br nak keluar carik makan..pastu sumer kedai tutup dah dkt 11.30 baru dpt makan ~



ermm mandi kejap aa.


aa lps mandi ngantuk la pulak..
esok jelah ;-)

12:09 AM

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Friday, November 19, 2010

hanging in here..

thot i was doing fine..but the same talk abt the same subject all day everyday for a week kinda makes me loose it. still cant really(=dont want to) talk abt it, tho i dont mind contributing in actions rather than words..i just wish its over soon enuff before i loose my mind..I know its not healthy but cant help it, its what i feel...need to keep going with the positive energy and throw away these negative thots!

1:49 PM

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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

random-mandom

Lately rase mcm hati kering(read:xde perasaan..)
hidup aman damai, nothing dramatic, which is good.
Mmgla rase cam ringan jek..lately byk open up to unexpected people..
Byk berjalan, buat aktiviti luar etc..

But why..is it kinda boring?
Like sthg missing..err mcm makan sambal tak pedas~

11:26 PM

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triple choc cupcakes & panoramic


November, 2 org in the family sambut bday. iloT&inot! berturut plak tu hehe..instead of beli kek hArgA berpuluh-puluH, decided to bake some cuppies..made them some triple choc cuppies. why triple? because its choc cuppies, with bits of choc chips inside and topped with sticky choc icing!!!!wallaUweEEH, my first try using this eggless recipe, it also has a touch of aLmod meal:.the verdict is a batch of sInful, rich and moist little things!!!                                       And while going around for raya groceries shopping yest, smpt singgah Teluk Bakong nearby, n got some photos for some panoramic photo expeiment.verdict? Interesting bit dunno if i hv the patience for this!!! btw...sAlam aildilaDha all. it will be a busy day..will be doing qurban today-literally ;-)

7:49 AM

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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

my hometown part 1 - pantai punggur




mak aaii dah dkt4 pagi..apsal x tido lg ni?
org lain sumer dah di alam mimpi~

xpe, skali dpt kidnap laptop adik, kita guna abes2an~

smlm after 3 1/2 hrs drive with almost 2 hrs of driving in the rain..Alhamdulillah slmt sampai rumah/kampung.
1st hour cam eksyen..br sejam dah nak masuk melaka..sekali tu ujan..amek kau~
tu pon tak benti mane2...cuma benti toilet break kat ayer keroh jek adelah 10minit..
giler boring drive sorg...biler la nak ade driver nih haishh~

nway..
hari ni, first day kat umah utk cuti raya haji.
selalu mcm bengong biler cuti lama.
first, takde kawan, gang nak buat pape.
family mmg ade la tp utk aktiviti2 biase..
second, sbb rase cam kat batu pahat ni takde pape..takde spot nak cuci mata.

but this time around, i decided not to make this another wasted break in town..so i googled ' batu pahat' and guess what suprise2~
turns out ade quite a few places yg i might want to check out.
no delay2, hari ni jgk determined nak gi shoot sunset kat this place called pantai punggur ( bukan pungkuk!!).
kat bp ni mmg la ade a few pantai tp sumer nye bukan kategori utk mandi2 manda..more as tpt lepak2, memancing etc~
tak sangka la pulak ade view sunset cun!

so petang td gi check out..yg lawaknye..asalnye ingat nak gi jelajah sorg jek..skali ngan mak, nenek skali ikut!
makwe nak gi tgk adik dia yg sakit dkt2 situ..mak plak, ermmm mmg kaki berjalan lah!

verdict, kecuali part terserempak ngan sefamili babi utan kat tepi semak - perfect weather, nice clouds..mmg nice sunset!
camni br lah best~

esok..
nak gi carik jetty lama tpt org bp seberang sg batu pahat dolu2~
tu dkt je laa ade la 10 minit dr rumah kot..tp rase2...xleh bawak keta kot~
tatau la camne rupa jalan tu...rase2 ade konfiden x nak bawak motor?
;-)

3:47 AM

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Sunday, November 14, 2010

conquering the crystal ridge - bukit tabur, melawati.







above are some reference photos: from the internet, of some top 'hotspots' where i was praying for dear life...
















those who knew wud know, that i am not so good with great heights..and crossing the road ;-)but yesterday i faced my utmost fear, heights and the fear of falling.errr i did fall at one point, but lets not let that spoil it first~
been nagging on our 'trip leader' to actualize the plan. i know i cud be irritating haha..the only way to stop me from claiming the promise was to actully proceed with the hiking/climbing thigie, and so it we finally did yesterday.
first of all we planned to start climbing around 6am, but 5am when i was supposed to meet him up before meeting another friend, i just woke up! ( tu pon sbb dpt wake up call!!)
so cut the story short..we started climbing around 6.30am. there were only 3 of us, but that wasnt a problem at all. there were many other trekkers on the way up.about 20 minutes, we reached the first point for the sunrise view. short trail but seriously, my biggest enemy was lenguh kaki!it was just up up and up for the whole trail!by the time we reached the point, there was still trace of beautiful sinrise view tho we were already quite late. thanks to the weather.the view, Subhanallah was breathtaking.
the first and 2nd photo were taken at this point.
we were not that much high up the ground.....yet!
think we had some light breakfast here..bla2..me contemplating whether to go on with the course or not because actually, i're too much on the internet that i knew what was coming.for the other two guys, of course it wud be such a waste to stop there...and i am not one to give up easily anyway so we went on.

after a while, we stopped again for another great view. this time it was obvious that we stood on quite a higher ground.from this point, we cud see the klang river gate and the dam near melawati..and clouds were so dramatic i cudnt resist.
thats the 3rd, and the 4th photo.
d then we went on..and on.i keep asking "jauh lg ke?" and "bape percent lg nie"and bla2 haha..i was obviously the dragger of the trip but the guys were gentleman enough to layan.our cameras were kept in the bag when we`re not resting as the trail were mostly of rocks. sayang camera weh.
i would find my self turning around sometimes and saying wow~ for the great views. kl city centre (klcc, kl tower..) were very clear from up there. but halfway through, i just stopped bothering to take my camera out to shoot. started to focus more on the trekking. not only to enjoy it, but also as safety caution.
so the next few photos, are among others that i took along the way.
second part of the climb, it started to build up on the difficulty level.we came across a few spots where we had to go down and climb up on an almost vertical angle. it was something like rock climbing where we have to step and hold to the shapes of the rocks to climb ourselves up. same thing when going down.we actually had to que at these spots for there wud be a massive traffic of people waiting for their turns.many experienced trekkers were kind enough to offer us advise and tips when we came across some difficult points.we came across few other groups that came in quite a big number.moral of the story, a small group is nice if you dont want to get stuck up there too long ;-)
i was lucky to have my mates helping out throughout the climbing as there were times when i would feel like my heart stop beating for the fear of slipping and falling down the cliff. the thought that one wrong step which cud happen by chance, cud bring me straight to the foot of the cliff, just made me panic - of course not showing it on the face! cover la kan~it was quite funny that on our way down, there was an episode where i fell down when i was going down too fast! serious weh jatuh meniarap almost hit the face!must have given the two guys a heart attack!heh..other than that, i survived without a bruise.
all in all, i think we went up and down about 4 ridges..and reached the end point at around 10am.made our way down through some belukar and an orchard. suprisingly even the trail down took us about 1 1/2 hours. kaki dah menggigil by this time and we just couldnt wait to finish..it was around 11.30 when we arrived at the main road where we came fromtook a rest for a bit at this small stall near where we parked and left.
i am now aching all over, from my two feet and legs to shoulders and my back.
but given the chance, i wud definetely do this again ;-)
berbaloi membebel sampai jadik naik tabur~

1:11 PM

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Thursday, November 11, 2010

my first mc

my first mc since i started working.yes, believe it or not :-). met my doc-yesterday. sembang2, had lunch then went strolling around putrajaya while waiting for her to finish work. met again later in the evening at her house in bangi, and stayed over for the night!she actually gave me an m.c today huhu..to rest and recuperate. the day off from work yesterday in itself was a therapy..enjoyed my time off work, with no worries abt anything, and also took some time self-reflecting and thinking..it was suprising at all when i was advised to be more optimistic, love myself more..and be more pro-active. need to keep going and anticipate more good things in life. yosh!!!!!this weekend,anyone up for a trip downsouth? shooting in muar maybe? sambil jln2 makan. or just stroll around kl for some urban feel? i certainly dont feel like going home too early~

10:24 AM

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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

seeing the doc

the last time i saw a doc was 4 year 7 months ago - during the medical check up when i started working.
after that there were a few trips to the in-house clinics but mostly just to take meds at the counter - for sore throat etc.

but today i`m taking a day leave to pay a visit to a hosp.for an appointment with a friend-doctor.
i`m phisically well, Alhamdulillah but there are things that i might need some advise and consultation on..the thought of a serious-consultation is scary...so hopefully it`ll be more laid-back and informal as promised.

for what i need is mostly a listening ear, and maybe a little bit of professional advice ~

baby steps..that hopefully will help me deal with things better.

10:58 AM

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Monday, November 8, 2010

random monday

..and when i thot we gor off on the right foot, sthg had to go wrong...susah jugak org (read:lelaki) terlebih 'pemalu'nie..

4:08 PM

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Sunday, November 7, 2010

JJCM@Penang













cik awe sore haha~



padang kota lama



view from the masjid terapung in batu feringhi

kekyoku..i did go to penang.

thursday nite when housemate asked nak proceed or not, was thinking fast of an excuse but nothing came to mind, because honestly i really had no other plans.
i cud either follow them - or stay behind in the possibility of having a crazily mandom long weekend if nothing impromptu or random comes up.

tho at some point i did feel a bit sad for missing out a beautiful-photography experience..but what to do. need to plan myself if i feel like doing sthg/going somewhere rather than expecting people to initiate i guess..

nways..we had the best of local food thanx to our penang local friend.
tried shooting the place and the people, but honestly it was difficult to enjoy the place through my lens without my usual shooting-friends ;-
what a waste.

i stopped trying after a while as it was easier to just enjoy the food, and the short breakaway.

p/s: will update details later...

8:50 PM

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Friday, November 5, 2010

hi penang~

boley tak saya nak senyum? ;-)

6:39 PM

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Thursday, November 4, 2010

happy holidays!

aiya..cam biskut la kejap jadik kejap tak.
the plan is suddenly back on.

org demam dah baik..
bersungguh nak jugak proceed with the trip.
tak menjadik serkap jarang nak cancel trip.

so plan yg tanpa sebarang plan is on.
x booking mane2 pon.
..will be leaving early morning tomorrow and be back saturday night.

selamat bercuti!!

11:46 PM

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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

blessing in disguise

haha
secret prayers been answered ;-)
penang plan most probably is cancelled kot..org yg mengajak tetiba jatuh demam teruk lak..siap mc lagi..tak sure leh recover by friday..
kinda looking forward for it - the food, weekend get away etc - but its nerve wrecking, but i thot i`d just go with it and cross teh bridge when i come to it.
now that we`re not going, i`m honestly relieved.

except..of course.
my long weekend plans is back to zero - nada.
aa..
the back up plan is to hang out watching movie, bowling etc and that dude would probably be around too..but it doesnt sound half as bad as that 4 hours drive to penang and a one night trip alright..

see..
a blessing in disguise.
kick me if i complain my weekend`s boring.

10:07 PM

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Monday, November 1, 2010

experimental trip

aiyaiyai..the penang plan is on nampaknye.
tp satu prep pon tak wat lg..normal weekends maybe leh walk in but its gonna be a long weekend, so suicide mission kalau tak wat reservation dulu obviously...

ade sedikit malas still.
tp mcm dah sedikit terlambat nak back out it seems...
lgpon nanti aku gak yg giler takde aktiviti..

ermm maybe its a good idea to have a little get away with some ppl i never expected to ever have trips with.
i`m very picky when it comes to ppl i go out with - even for meals.
so this is actually very experimental...
sthg different, getting to know new people..hopefully it`ll be fun ;-)

11:31 PM

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