sitting, waiting and wishing

Saturday, January 29, 2011

greatest present~

quick update after a long day out (and not working!) and before weekend away with best-girlfriends~

thanks friends for making in such a great 'day-before' ~

from the spa to the japanese shoppingsss (tho window mostly!), dinner then movie (the green hornet was quite cool!!) to supper at williamss..then later another supper of bday-cuppies and teh o panas at home > the greatest present from all for not making it just another boring friday for me~

the second time visiting serenity spa (last time in Bangi, this time around in shah alam) - very worth it and satisfying!
now hada 'sube-sude' desu haha~

err..almost succumbed to temptation to get myself a bday treat i`ve been dreaming for today..unfortunately( fortunately??) the cash remains inside the purse due o some 'foreseen' circumtances me the chance to sleep on it for a few nights if its really worth it..or shud i keep the cash instead for 'more important' stuffs like a new lens or sthg...?
but i so want that handbag with the big C on it~

xde ke sape2 dr US ke..leh kirim murah sket~

3:29 AM

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Thursday, January 27, 2011

jar of hearts| christina perry

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
And learn to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?

11:39 PM

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Tun Dr.Mahathir visits Perodua| 26th Jan 2011

The title speaks for itself, the talk abt Che det coming to our plant had been going on since maybe abt the last two weeks..quite short notice actually. many said it originated from a 'random invitation' by the management when he 'pass us by' during the last KLIMS2010 ( motor show~)
rumors say that he made some comments that indicated lack of confidence in P2 - while the talk about P2 merging P1 is still going on, such statement could really start some sparks~
and him being him, just few months later here he was on our ground again, after 10 years, getting to know the 'lost child' again ;-)
well almost everyone has their own version of the visit objectives. whatever the reason is behind the whole thing, i personally think its good attention. it only shows how we`ve becomed a player in the automotive industry that worth paying attention to.
the merge, obviously everyone here in P2 is not very happy with, will be like a forced marriage and i think P2 would rather be the runaway bride~

ok enough about ..err..brides~

the visit.
think he was here from around 9.30 to 4.30pm~ kot.
unlike other visits where more of us will get to witness the 'big guy' its a very close thingie this time. only very few ppl got to be involved while for the rest of us, it was work as usual. well keja mmg byk pon~
R&D was the first venue of visit ( and apparantly the main)..followed by the plant visit and later on some launching event at the corp. building. the 'souvenier' from P2 was an Alza - also to officiate the M2 edition ( Mahathi Mohamad edition~) - a 500 hundred 'blue' color Alza coming soon. i heard the prifit will proceed to the fund under Che det..old man must be very happy~

thats pretty much it..boring giler tatau story pon ape jadik..quite a fan of him myself. but too bad did not catch even a single glimpse of him today padahal dia lalu bawah tu jek..busy la tak sempat nak bergayut kat tingkap like the rest in their attemps to catch a glimpse..

there were no media whatsoever..they dont want to make a big fuss katanya..i`m sure after a while there`s be words tho..and photos since there were some photographers throughout.
paling2 pon mesti ade story nanti kat Che det nye situ la baru tau nanti whether we impressed him or not ~

aa esok keja lagi satu hari for the week...byk item2 baru meletup from the pilot pro trial..

p/s: eh org tu nye 'surgery' scheduled for tomorrow turned out...tho small surgery jek mestilah kena m.c n rest kan ;-(

12:09 AM

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..a love song for no one..

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old loveOr lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no way

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
oh yeah
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me~

12:00 AM

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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

e-mail di pagi hari...

f.a: so..he is planning sthg for tunggu jelah~

sampai sudah aku tak reply..
i dont need people giving me hopes that wud later shatter to pieces.

so far cuma mention to f.a (+ hub n doter), and maybe two other friends abt hanging out friday night..makan2..terasa nak tgk mubi or main bowling pon ade. f.a n family maybe just mkn2 la kot..that is kalu jadik n i feel like it..kalau derang ade hal, its ok aku tak rase ape pon.
or aku sendiri yg tak feel like it then balik je la umah. yg penting weekend dgn kawan2 baik yg dah mcm sisters~

i wud hate it if he somehow feel obliged to do sthg for me in any way, just bcos last time on his bday i did plan for sthg-which turned out tak jadik pon since he wanted to be with his family..
in the end hari2 special ni prefer to spend time ngan org yg simply care, takde calculated matters ke whatever..

of cos sgt bahagia la kalau dia salah seorg drpd org tu haha ~

owh dan ade org tanye ' 好き= スキ= suki ' tu maksudnye ape?
aku ckpla maksud dia 'suka'
suka yg mcm mane?
^bukan mcm suka burger ke suka makan kacang ke ooi..maksud dia suka yg mcm ni~~~~
tiada kondisi dan kadang2 bodoh. satu saat buat hati bahagia dan berbunga-bunga. satu saat lagi buat hati sepi dan sunyi..naseb baik di-suka balik,kurang baik tepukla tgn sesorg haaa ~
rase mcm nak tulis '好き’ tu besar2 atas kertas A0 letak atas meja dia haish ~

12:19 AM

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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

nak ajak ke nak diam...

this coming weekend..
tho this year i`m trying to not make such a big deal, and just survive the day like any other day of the year, i hv to admit tho it will be great to be spending it with ppl i love, ppl i care for and ppl i know care abt me ;-)
cant wait to be spending saturday-sunday with my fav.girls somewhere up the hill hehe..

friday lak am taking a day off-ade appointment from early morning with a couple of friends from work for a girls day out...its time for that long overdue spa-treat to self!
yg lawak nye since 3 org drpd 4 org ni nanti satu opis, boss yg approvekan cuti is the same person..
sorg dah apply weeks ago so dah selamat.
sorg lagik bila apply td, boss pelik sampai tanye 'whats so special abt this friday??'
uwaa ape la nak ckp kan boss esok ni..selalu dia x penah bother pon ni boleyla plak dia suspicious!

the whole thing is expected to settle till after lunch lps tu free jek..ade yg kena balik umah sbb takkan nak bg laki jaga kids sampai ke malam..
so malam tu ape nak buat aa?
honestly dont think i wud want to come home early..
i keep saying no plans when f.a asked..kinda hoping for 'certain ppl' to come around and suggest sthg tp nampak gaya cam hopeless jek..
tgkla camne..
dunno la why, hari2 biase selamba jek nak ajak org kuar ke hepi2, tp that one day of the year cam complicated sket..

lg aku nak spend time ngan org tu, lg laaa liat mulut nak ajak..waaa..

12:14 AM

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Monday, January 24, 2011

soal kawen dan anak - direct translation~

I wonder..
Org kata kawen tak kawen tu x define succeed or no someone in life
kawen tak kawen someone tu jugak tak patut jd alasan utk org tu bahagia dlm hidup.
Ayat2 common yg org akan ckp to politely make one feel 'less worried' bila someone umur dah nearing 30 tp x kawen2~
yer aa takleh salahkan org2 ni..kalau tuan punya badan sendiri x faham naperla susah sgt nak dpt jodoh-akhirnya terpaksa gak berbalik pada jawapan cliche 'belum sampai jodoh', mereka2 ni lagilah 20 kali tak faham kot!
Compliments to them for s'times trying to show that the understand. Tho honestly compassion that they show tuh is not welcomed pon.

But then i wonder..if it doesnt matter that much wether u're married or not,
apsal setiap kali jumpe makcik2 kecoh kat kampung or time raya - mesti tanya bila nak kawen?
Jumpe kawan lama after 20 years pon the first question was 'bila rancang nak kawen?'
and how is one supposed to answer?
Ermm..rancang nye 2-3 thn lps tp tak jd sbb xde calon - gila looser bunyinye.
Atau, rancang nye thn ni sblm umur 30 tp tatau la sempat cr calon ke x - giler desperate plak!!
Atau, saya tak merancang, tunggu je bebila kalau kawen,kawen laa - mcm pasrah dan negatif la pulak!

Benda leceh, tp rase2 mcm kena ade skema jawapan supaya x pening nak menjawab setiap kali ditanye benda yg sama..

Honestly kenapa nak kawen pon susah nak jawab?
Satu je jawapan yg sure, sbb nak ada anak n family sendiri.
Yg ni je rasenye rugi sgt2 tak dpt nak achieve sementara muda ni(tho dah x bp nak muda..)

soal lain2 tu rasenye leh lg survive and tunggu, sbb percaya soal qada dan qadar..if kesudahannya akan tiba then sekarang atau 10 thn lagi, tak berapa nak jadi hal..
Tp biology clock yg x bleh nak stop or turn around ni yg buatkan suka atau tak, terpaksa jugak fikir.
Walaupon dgn fikir tu x membawa solution nye pon..

Bilala nak kaya niiihhh...
Cukup keta, cukup umah..xde hutang pape, then barulah leh implement back up plan b - since rasenye x bleh nak forever menunggu, sampai bebila pon xleh nak ada faMili sendiri~

1:06 PM

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Sunday, January 23, 2011

post balik kampung

Alhamdulillah selamat sampai..stress free drive ari ni. from bp to kl then to bukit beruntung takde jumpe jam di mana2.
siap sempat singgah borong kerepek kat pt.sulong, in less that 4 hours dah sampai umah - kira laju gak aa..takde stop selain kilang kepek tu. ade gakla sket ngantok halfway - co pilot as usual tido jekkk~

sampai umah betul2 time maghrib, pas mandi2 solat sumer ngantuk yg amat..layan mata jap sampai kol 9, tejaga sbb lapo.. rumah pon tarak..nak masak malas..kuar la jugak konon nak tapau pape..
tp yg pelik dok drive pusing kawasan umah 2-3 kali, pastu dah kuar main road pon dok pusing area kedai2 dpn tu lagi 2-3 kali siap masuk esso gaya cam nak isi minyak tp x jadik sbb ramai org..still xleh decide nak tapau ape.
last2, gi 7e beli air epal twister ( sbb oren takde!) sebotol besar..balik umah minum sampai stgh botol sambil layan csi ulangan tah kali ke^berapa dan sambil jugak meng-iron baju2 keja..

pastu ni lapar la ni.. nyesal ngada2 tak main tapau jek pape.
tak suka makan sorg ekceli..dulu2 selamba jek.
but lately it kinda reminds me that i`m alone.
sbb tu dr makan sorg....baik tak makan.

ni kena pujuk mata tido cpt2 aa..ikutkan mmg ngantuk pon.
penat drive jauh 2 hari berturut-turut..
dgn harapan rasa lapar tak overcome rasa ngantuk laa..

11:13 PM

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Saturday, January 22, 2011

bengung dan bengong..

aa...rasa dlm hati ni macam membuak-buak takde tpt nak pegi sampai sesak dada. makin lama makin sesak, tatau nak buat ape dah..seyes aa..taknak fikir pon tp nak rasa jugak ape nak buat?makin nak dekat makin the same time bleh je rapat ngan org2 lain - which kena careful gak, delicate n complicated matter tu,byk hati nak jaga,sampai kdgt2 bleh jd stressed gak! tp naper dgn yg sorg tu susah sgt? mmg la dulu rajin gak nak initiate tp lama2 jd penat n segan..x cukup kuat? and tho at one point tu ingat nak let go tp xleh gak..lg stress ade laa,dlm kepala je 24/7,esp.bila sesorg.makin lama makin berat nak simpan, nak ckp takut. tp tak ckp sampai bila pon tak start ape2. ckp pulak silap2 lg disastreous jdnya;-( sanggup nak tunggang tebalik lg mcm dulu? tatau laaa...sakit tu nanti agak berat gak..and tho am keeping my options open, xde datang la plak yg lain..selalu camtu, yg aku suka dan nak tu lah yg susah nak in other words nape aku yg mesti suka dulu kat org tu?why? dok diam2 neutral x rase pape xleh?suka sgt menyusahkan diri sendiri..ape nak bwat? rase cam dah cukup distract diri sendiri ngan keja, friends, xtvt2 luar tp memanjang je xleh elak nak rasa dan rindu. bingung dan bengong aa camni. n i thot this year i wud start new and stop feeling it; but already i feel like i hv failed...miserably ;-(

10:19 PM

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Monday, January 17, 2011

hurt and broken..or empty and lost?

s'times we hold on to the pain, because its all we have left..
too afraid to let go and never feel the same
the pain becomes so big that when its gone we feel empty
so wud i be hurt and broken..or empty and loss?

1:35 AM

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Sunday, January 16, 2011

not a broken heart..

they say that its a broken heart
but the truth is whats hurting is the whole body
the more i try to seal my feelings
the more i get into you

and the more i try to let you go
the more i feel i'm never going to get over you

2:21 AM

1 friends sharing their thots

Saturday, January 15, 2011

ragam di tpt kerja

where i work we deal with vendors a lot..and am not the type yg too friendly esp. lah those yg problematic-byk pending issues situ-sini
and most of them i deal with are guys lah - in fact almost 5 years working pernah deal ngan vendor pempuan sorg jek. dgn yg ni mmg still baik even tho dah years gak last skali deal with.

most of them are very professional tho once in a while i do meet some yg 'overfriendly' and stuff..but nothing too much..personally i dont prefer the type yg suka nak small talk- biler call tanye dah makan ke belom la and bla2..esp. dgn suara dan gaya yg agak menggelikan ~
haha..normal nak rase geli ke atau aku ngada2?
kalau org yg kenal personally tak kisah je sbb org2 work related ni..dah tu byk utang keja lak ngan aku pastu nak buat2 cover camtu, sori i tak suka lah senang citer. with those yg keja ok, takde byk problem aku ok jek, tp yg byk problem buat aku pening kepala, mmg automatic tak bape suka aa..bukannye nak totally seperate work acquaintances with personal, but i guess they lost their appeal there. i always see men who're good at what they do(including their work) as attractive, and otherwise lah.

specifically there is this guy yg since first time meeting lg dah mcm geli2 aa. esp. lah bila meeting takde org lain. so end up i always find excuses to drag somebody else along for meetings and such.biler ade org lain dia mcm normal aa.
and then somewhere this week, selasa kot he came by to pass some reports. x meeting pon, just jumpe kat the guard house nak amek the docs. sampai2 je guard house member dah tercongok kat situ, aku cam biase je, bagi salam mcm biase pastu bleh tak mamat ni nye ayat yg tak bleh blah as mukadimah ari tu - wangi ari ni~
hah? aku tatau aa muka aku camne time tu tp aku just respond ngan "hish" jek..

sama ada mamat ni terlebih friendly atau pervert atau dia simply nak kata hari lain aku tak wangi(??!!) or whatever laaa...agak shocked. x citer pon kat org sbb maybe org akan kata aku perasan atau suka fikir lebih..
for a moment rase cam sekuhara sareta. bongok by right aku rase kalau cr definition'sexual harrastment' tu bleh consider as one gak tuu..
pasni kalo datang lg aku kirim postman aa gi amek report ke ape...
gila tak suka.

11:52 PM

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Friday, January 14, 2011

bbq lagik!!


9:08 PM

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Thursday, January 13, 2011


andai hati bisa bersuara
kala lidah kelu tanpa bicara
biar kau tahu jiwa ini mencinta
tak sempurna tapi sesungguhnya

andai esok tiba masa pergi
kan ku tinggal nota pengganti diri
biar bayangan jadi pasti
buat tatapanmu si jantung hati

kata hati, sabarlah menanti..

4:03 PM

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ironiknya, bila lagi rapat seseorg tu, lg mudah utk jadi penyebab air mata.
bunyi cam ngada2, sket2 nak nangis. mmg aku ni kememey pon...menangis tu la satu2 cara aku tau nak express marah, suka dan sedih..

tp mmg mcm tu..mcm mana aku mudah menangis bila abah tanya 'how are you?' dulu2..
atau bila kadang2 aku rasa diketepi drpd certain family and friends - mungkin perasaan je mcm tu time tu, tp bila rasa mcm tu mmg senang je nak mengalir air mata..
sama jugak dgn org2 yg rapat ni..percaya atau tak, bukan kritikan2 sinis/atau kata2 keras yg kalau org lain ckp mungkin aku akan ngamuk yg boleh buat aku banjir, tp lebih pada rasa insecure hilang kawan rapat, atau hilang that 'touch' atau seringkali rasa guilty pada sthg yg kdg2 aku pon taktau ape benda..contohnya bila aku rase guilty for feeling jealous over other ppl 'seemingly happy' lives or sad over some good news of others - jahat kan? but thats me, am not perfect. mmg kadang2 ada waktu perasan2 tu datang menduga, tp so far after awhile aku akan balik to my senses and see the good side of things.

kesimpulannya aku sedar kena belajar to not take friends for granted dan terlalu mengikut perasaan..mmg kalau
xde give and take dlm mane2 relationship - esp.friendship - rapat camne pon leh jd musuh..yg itu aku penah jadik saksi, dan penah jugak hampir nak terjadi kat diri sendiri, tp bila fikir betapa ruginya hilang kawan waktu tu sbb benda2 bodoh dan melayan emosi, finally berjaya buang ego dan emosi ketepi and Alhamdulillah we're back as friends tho maybe not the best of all...
maybe jugak sbb ni lah aku tak mudah baik dgn org..and i dont let ppl 'in' that easy..rasa dependant emotionally to other ppl tu is sthg disturbing sometimes. cant help but wander sometimes if ppl are annoyed by me..
but i dont choose who i'm close with.
for some reason yg cuma Allah tahu, our paths crossed and instead of being just another friend, we became bestfriends. lucu bila kita cuba ingatkan dan always tak boleh nak ingat pon at what point yg kita start rapat dgn org tu...and always tak bleh jugak nak imagine how different life is without these ppl around.

adat jugak bila ade 'hiccups' here and there, but they happen too often sometimes, it's scary as hell thinking that maybe the relationship will turn bad somehow..and cant help but feeling responsible for it.
to change who i am for the better is a struggle, but worth the comfort a friend often offers..

to my best-girlfriends, i'm sorry for occasionally making u guys worry over emotional breakdowns in the middle of the day (and night~)- although i know i probably wont stop doing it too soon..thanx for always being there tho not here :-)
my life is different when u girls are not around.

to my closest buddy u know who u are, thanx for coping up and always making me laugh tho sometimes with the stupidest jokes! owe u too much i know i cant possibly repay u enough..
majokla if it could sooth u out when u're tired with my swings, but dont hate me yet..

this may scream 'attention seeker' to some ppl reading..but truly i just dont know how else to express.
and how can i be pretending such feelings and thoughts when tears are falling fast down my cheeks the whole time i was writing this?

1:30 AM

6 friends sharing their thots

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

complexity of me

am so freaking emotional today, and i actually saw it coming..

it is just one of those things that make me feel pathetic and hate myself. i get so insecure and vulnerable when i'm around others closest to me. tried to keep it quiet as saying it wud only make it real...

how to say..i want to be with friends - ppl i enjoy being around with, do stuff, go places but cant help feeling left out when everyone's got somebody and i always get to play single. its not so difficult when u're not the only one, and when its not the 'pair-game' but the moment u realized u're the only one left, u just freak out. and u start imagining how u'd put urself when certain situations arrive. almost feeling lost.
(btw, replacing 'i' with 'u' is just my way of making it sounds less pathetic)

before it wasnt so bad when its maybe 50-50, u get a handful of singles like u and a couple of those with plus ones. its not difficult to mingle around and blend in. but when u start being on the minority side, and the gang just keeps getting smaller and smaller, it almost feel like u're being eaten out, it gets harder to feel and act normal.
u'd wish u cud stay away from these ppl, but u cant because u want to be with them, and u'd feel guilty abt leaving.
but staying around hurt. yet u cant say much cos u dont want to be seen as pathetic and vulnerable. and u love them still anyway even when they push you to make that decision that push u to hurt urself.
so u pretend u're cool when u're not. while hating urself so bad for feeling that way. who else to blame if not urself? u'd be overcome with all sorts of emotions but joy, then explode like waterfall.

exactly how i felt today.
confused, sad and guilty. alone and broken.
and the thought that one day this feeling may come again in circles only leave me in fears of facing it all alone, thinking that what i see happen to other ppl, may not happen to me at all. be prepared to be like a stone, or be prepared to retreat to that cave.I'm guessing its only a matter of time before i stop going to weddings and stuff..

Faith on myself, is loosing out...

12:39 AM

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Monday, January 10, 2011

sunday nite cooking - rendang ayam for potluck!

wallaww..its almost 2am and am still wide awake!
baru setel masak rendang ayam utk potluck lunch esok - ade sikit nyesal volunteer masak main dish, kalu volunteer buat kek ke dessert ke pon still need less effort la. kalau bakar membakar pon just tunggu oven wat tidak...dah aaa pandai gi beli ayam sekor bulat2..nak memotong ayam tu jek dah abes tenaga dr makan nasi lemak dinner td..lom lagi nak readykan rempah rendang dgn blender yg cam dah tak larat..last2 terpakse blend by batches sampai dkt 20mins nak blend sumer benda..
kuali lak tak cukup for the first time la masak rendang guna periuk..punye laaa main hentamm..
end results siap gak la rendang of one chicken + 5 extra drumsticks..errr rase leh tahan la kot~
haha..nak puji diri sendiri tu dak la tp takat rendang..iA agak konfiden~
ironically lg konfiden compared to chicken curry or kurma..seyes tak tipu.
even nasik pon kadang2 fail kalu masak huhu..utk sorg mkn lps la sebabnye kot, masak nasik tak lps lagik!!!haha~

why aah?
i cud cook and bake sometimes more complicated stuffs but never had the confidence for simple stuff like curry, and even plain rice.
tak tipu, kalau kat kampung masak nasik wajib tanye dulu "mak, air ni cukup tak?"

maybe because i google for everything...but never for simple stuff i thot i knew!

2:02 AM

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Sunday, January 9, 2011


was a long daaayyy home. stayed in fighting the cramps..technically fasting until around 3pm when i realized i was hungry.
think the mind somehow got confused - antara stomach cramp & lapar ~
petang sket it got my weekend chores - washing, cleaning, ironing done by evening..
thought of going out for some baking stuffs stock..instead stayed in watching the re-runs of NCIS on tv all the way, while drooling over sweets-recipes on the internet~
aaa..the crave started for caramel cheese cake..then further to macarons!
time for another try out? :-)

just as it was getting dark, got a text from a friend that that was bored to he*l too...but there's maybe almost a hundred kms between us so we decided to meet halfway~
so we met later at Murni somewhere in Aman suria, Pj..memula went to the one in SS2 tp ramai sgt org. went in a car together after meeting up at some petrol pum in d.j..aa obviously tak ingat nye jln tuu..
first time gi Murni - the so called sister of Williams. pj.
-actually a much cleaner, and more comfortable version of Williams actually. with more glamorous names to the drinks - i love u? bee happy?

will post the photos of the food and drinks later.

tho i'm still bloated and fighting the least today ended good. perut lupa dia tgh sakit bile sumbat ngan really nice seafood marinara~
home alone breakfast, lunch and dinner in a day is a lil hazardous.


12:14 AM

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Friday, January 7, 2011

selamat malam dunia

air mata jurai2..
kompem pms..

selamat malam dunia.

12:07 AM

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Thursday, January 6, 2011

so called 'office trip' plan..

an idle mind is the workshop of the devil...

before end year 2010 konon mcm excited nak arrange office office i knew it`d be difficult to get all to join anyway..
instead of the common day-trip bbq cum picnic stuff, thot it`d be fun to have a little overnight trip once in a while.
the last time we went for a trip was to tganu 2 years back kot..

so somewhere near and easy...pd it is.
but what a picky bunch of guys we have. nak wat trip 3 thn skali pon susah nak dpt common aggreement..kekyoku bile kata nak overnight sket giler yg maintain their hands up..dunno if we`d even manage to get 10 heads in.
mcm bape kerat jek tinggal, and most probably mostly family..seriously even some ppl i thot wud make it will not be there..
at first excited, leh relax2, catch a nice sunset by the beach etc..
but that very small number of ppl and since it will basicly be 'free leisure time' untill the only activity there is - night bbq - cant help but imagining some awkward hours when i wudnt know where to sit, or fit in.

the thought to back off did cross my mind, but that`d be a bad idea, some ppl will be hurt and make noise, since i was among the starters..although i'm used to ppl cancelling on me..its hard to do the same..tho for now it looks like it`ll be a 150km drive to emotional torture, i am set to go.

maybe i`ll just pack some books and enjoy the room, or go to the spa for body massage ke mani-pedi ke, will figure sthg out..
that is if i`m not ready for another round of sunburning. owh its next weekend btw..

ada byk idea utk roadtrips this year and next year - nak naik kinabalu, nak backpacking gi siam, nak tgk angkor watt kat cambodia.
duit ade ke tak tu blkg kira aa...excited je dulu, plan ape patut, kalu ade rezeki, jalan.
kalau tak bape byk bajet byk je lg idea best..cameron ke yg aku sgt nak gi sbb last time pegi waktu darjah 5..or best gak gi daytrip to kuala gandah main ngan gajah, rindu gak kat diorg tuu..

i wish la i wish boleh nak heret diorg ni sama2 excited to mcm hopeless.

yg kaki berjalan byk lak access baggage. ade plak yg nak yg comfy2, plan ala 5 bintang. mane nak dpt..
kalau nak ke pd pon mcm nak ajak bercinta...
lupakan la yg lain2 tu..

10:58 PM

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Tuesday, January 4, 2011


someone became a father today.

got a text while i was watching the top chef on tv from a friend who`s wife just delivered a babygirl today. no suprise tho, its kinda expected cos they had to have a c-sect.
and this friend is no one random. a year ago i was so struggling at trying to get over him. and as much as i hated it, i pretended like he didnt exist tho we meet almost everyday at the office, until quite recently when it just doesnt feel so wrong anymore.
i needed time and i really took it slow, and he understood as he kept his distance as well.
not that any of us had anything to loose anyway.

so a year has passed and i`m glad i am passed that dark emo-period and cud honestly be happy for him like i wud for any other friend. honestly the awkwardness that i felt before was more of guilt for whatever happened. i still blame myself. i honestly dont know if i cud cheerfully join the crowd for a baby-visiting session, but i sincerely pray them happiness and bless from Allah...

it does feel a bit complicated tho..thinking how a year cud be so different for some ppl, yet for me it felt like i`ve been going around and around in a roller coaster. sometimes fun, sometimes not but back to square one in the end.

it does make me thicker, but never easier.
and in the light of this brand new year, i dare not make any more resolutions, but to embrace life that comes ahead, doing my best in everything i do, one day at a time, while keeping the past tucked nicely behind and be excited of all the great things that the future hold.
i do have a lil wish i`d rather keep inside here quietly so if i never got it, i wudnt be so crushed.

it will be yet another different and challenging year i cud almost smell it!
lets pray i stay strong another year, and be continuously blessed with ppl that i love.

10:03 PM

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Monday, January 3, 2011

Las Vacas Kelana jaya - dinner and catching up~

@Las Vacas Butcher Shop, Kelana Jaya
no.23, jln ss5a/11
*pics all courtesy of gugel, didnt bring my camera and my phone!

uhum *clears throat*
i'm back!!!
babbles abt the recent KK trip will have to not ready yet!
safely arrived near midnite yesterday after 3 days of jalan2 carik makan n menghirup udara segar~
uhh not to mention menelan air masin!

catched up on sleep last nite..woke up fresh and happy.
a bit worried abt the new laptop that somehow cudnt connect to both bluetooth wireless and my celcom modem..took it to mr.know all (almost~) n now its fixed yey!owh yes, this is my first time online with ms.pinky~

met up with a few friends from uni - the 4 singles left!
went to watch the movie-the tourist. my pick this time..a bit slow but smart ending. was it good or not?
well its got johny depp n a.jolie in it..of cos it was good~

dinner later at this place recommended by naza - Las Vascas, situated somewhere in K.J. its actually a butcher shop - that originally only sells meat,but they recently set a few tables there for dining in as well.
one step into the shop and we were greeted by very friendly and laid back staffs, and a display of freshly cut meats and stuff. the way to order is by choosing our own cut - what type of meat, how many grams look at the price/gm and i started making my mental calculation! it was my treat today so...demm these guys really know where to rompak me!
tp dah masuk kedai kan...layan jeklah.

the meat range are all types - rib eye ( grain fed, angus), tenderloin and stuffs, even wagyu (gulp!!) and also lamb..all price differently by weight. the five of us ordered some angus and grain fed rib eye ( another one came to join later)..priced at about rm24/100gms for steaks. or rm11/gms for raw take away.we just let them cut for us and wallahh..each got a 1.5 inch thick 300gm steak!

my steak was the grain fed ribeye steak, cooked to medium well done.
we also had salad, and also the starter - beef wraps.

the food~
salad(balsamic dressing) was ok - a bit redundant since the salad that comes with the steak is actually more than enough for a meal.
the beef wraps - super awesome! the sukiyaki beef wraps around some salad and cheese is a must eat here.
the steak - seriously the best steak i've had so far! it wud be unfair to even compare to places like chillis, marche, tgif etc...the steak was tender, super moist, very tasty and sweet. as in the meat is sweet. the seasoning is very minimal, they dont use extra marinating, sauce or whatever..probably just salt and pepper, emphasizing on the freshness of the meat itself.
the angus rib eye that opah n jem had is more beefy - or 'masculine' like naza decribed!
even jem's that was well done is good, not overcooked like what i had in chillis - very bad steak experience!


urmm..maybe abt the same as chillis - if you order a 200gm steak which will be around rm50..the next time i come here i wud seriously take a 200gm instead of a 300gm unless i'm really starving!
drinks are a bit expensive tho as they only serve bottled juice, some imported. the orange carrot juice i had was really good tho.
total damage today was a bit higher than i expected! but once a year with these friends, it was worth it. they never berkira with me anyway when we hang out together.

very homely and unique. and i thot its very relax and privacy.
they only have a few tables tho, so reservation is a must.

and best of all, i later found out that its totally Halal. its actually owned by these 2 malay friends who started the shop that sell raw meat ( beef and lamb) and later converted it to a restaurant.
so there is a place where we can eat really nice steak without feeling guilty of having to dine at a place that serves liquor ~

so the next time i'm feeling beefy, no more chillis dah..rather save a bit of cash for a nice steak dinner here.
definetely the place for special occasions :-)
birthday nanti mkn sini best gaks!!

1:15 AM

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