sitting, waiting and wishing

Monday, February 28, 2011

-rejection-


bend a plastic ruler toor far, drop that glass - that cracking sound you hear is the marker of hysteresis( read:too late).
there's no way to restore what's been smashed, rejection's like that.
one just have to pick herself up, and move on~

12:45 AM

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Saturday, February 26, 2011

10 days report hohoho~


uiks..mula hari khamis last week, ari ni sabtu..dah 10 days lerr maknenye :-)
rase kejap gilerrr..

ok.
banyaakk detail takleh share sbb bahayaa hahaha..
tp senang cakap, weight loss in ~10days is abt 3.5kg.
erk..byk gak..xdela rase ringan pon..yer aa..bp percent jek pon dr berat skrg kan.
start ari tu X4.5kg..skrg X1kg..kalu dpt turun bawah dr X0 tu pon dah tak ingat la biler last time huahua~
uhh..takpe2 sekilo -at-a-time ~

ermm nak citer leh jadik pjg jela2 ni..so point2 dia..

1- byk gak ngelat amek benda alah diet tu. sbb selalu tertido sebelum minum. dan ade 2 hari takde stock. so effect jaga makan yg agak bagus gak la.

2- kurangkan manis dlm minuman, lebihkan manis dalam senyuman~
haha..ni betul. dah takde teh tarik, teh ais semua. dua favourite tu. teh tarik tu selalu leh order dua kali. tp ni dah leh adapt tak dapat kot..cuma morning coffee tu ade kadang2 jadi kebiasaan terbuat gak..pastu biler tersedar tu,minum sket aa tak abes se-mug. tp kalau ikutkan advise amek benda alah tu, coffee antara yg NG - patut pangkah terus.
dok minum air kosong byk ikut advise. patut target 5l sehari tp mak aii almost impossible aa..so far dpt 4l gitu dlm sehari pon kira max la.
bagus gak mmg recommended minum air kosong byk2..tp dulu xde motivation. true enough, water is necessary for weight loss, detox, organs cleansing (esp.kidney). and yeah also good for skin huh..which is a bit noticable, selalu nak dkt2 time of the month mesti breakout keliling muka - pipi, dahi, idong etc. this time around bleh kata (almost) xde breakout pon :p.
and i am so focused on this diet-thingie, p.m.s symptoms pon cam x noticables. except, the usual bloat. tu mmg xleh tolong. and water retrench.

3- breakfast . maintain tak skip. amek cereal+milk. yg ni start next week kena tukar pi cornflakes regular aa..cereal yg dok makan ni a bit sweet..

4- portion control & calorie counting. aa portion control tu so-so ok. tp tang calorie tu susah sket. leceh aa nak tau sumer benda nye calorie esp. yg takde tulis contohnye time makan kat kedai kan..yg penting tau la benda2 yg xleh makan i.e fast food, lemak2, gulai2 etc. roti canai sumer mmg no-no. roti canai kosong je dah 600 cal padahal skrg nye diet patut maintain 1200 cal jek. kalau leh dpt weight loss cam skrg ni kira style makan skrg ok kot, by right kalau calorie intake too low, badan susah gak nak burn lemak sbb badan masuk dlm mode 'simpan tenaga' atau bahasa kasar nye..mode kebulur! so makan sket pon tak turun berat, dia simpan jugak as lemak..uuu tak ke haru!

huk..susah gak. benda2 favs. sweet pastries, cakes sumer kena control aa..sumer tu byk gul. ni bukan pasal nak turunkan berat jek. but about health in general. lg byk baca pasal diet, lg byk belajar pasal health.
yg penting the ultimate target is a healthier body. to get a bit (more) of weight loss and reduce that b.m.i wud be the more obvious stuff tpo benda2 kat dlm yg tak nampak ni yg lg critical actually.
i am never thin anyway. thin or slim had never been in the picture anyway! so to get that 18kgs loss to get that perfect b.m.i is honestly sthg very2 far as i've probably never been even as close to that. but well, i need a target. so the target is 18kgs loss. and to stay that way. no lead time target for that. but for the first month i'm targeting at least 8kgs.

so..towards 18kgs loss:
after 10days..
another 14.5kgs to go~

yoshh!!!

10:55 PM

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Thursday, February 24, 2011

weekend phobic

aIYAI..ORG YG KATA NAK DTG THIS WIKEN, NAK START KEJA KL X JD PLAK (POSTPONE)..SO ANOTHER WEEKEND YG XDE PLAN DAN BAKAL MEMERAP N MEREPUT :-( CAMTULA SKRG..MAKIN LAMA MAKIN PERLUKAN PLANNING N EFFORT. SEYES KENA BELA PET SEKOR NI..KUCING? ARNAB? HAMSTER? MASALAHNYE AKU GELI..

9:52 AM

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

saya tahan 6 hari!!!

lg citer pasal diet..sementara masih hangat-hangat ....(sila isi tpt kosong!)

walaupon atas warning cik puan tuty, dgn x berapa sengaja nye hari ni masuk hari ke-6 tak mkn nasi ~
erk...mcm tak caya. biase leh gigil otak woo sehari x mkn. boleh jadik ilang pertimbangan~
ni tatau laa..saiko ke ape ke. ade sket rase nak challenge bp hari leh tahan..
tp cukuplah sampai di sini, these few days baca mcm2 article..apparantly too low carb and too much protein can cause,
one, burden to the kidney, if not enuff certain food yg alkali(vegy etc) to balance out.
and no.2, signal to the body to be in hunger mode -read: makan sikit pon badan tak burn lemak, instead dia burn muscle yg sedia ade.body's natural way to protect ourselves time2 emergency bila tak cukup makan ( Subahanallah..) so bila mcm tu, opposite effect la kan. bak kata cik puan tuty.
no.1 effect tu paling menakutkan la..Nauzubillah.
no.2 tu..maa..worst case pon maintain cam skrg la kan haha~

but not to fret, nasi is not the only source of carb pon kan cuma paling common ngan org melayu mahupon jawa apatah lagi hybrid cam aku :-)
makan jek sumber carb lain..roti, bagel etc. cumanye bile x mkn nasi kurangla makan lauk2 lemak2, minyak2 sumer tu. thats a plus point la kan sbb kurang makan lemak2 jahat tu.

so petang td, selain drpd faktor pembacaan yg membawa pd konklusi yg nasi is still essential in a diet - in smaller quantity maybe - rindu sebenarnye nak makan nasi ngan lauk yg sedap. to be procise teringin nak makan chilli crab(yg kat taman megah pj tu pon sodap kalu dapat!) tp crab cam high cal jek!
boring aa makan lauk xde nasi huhu..so hari ni, tamat la sudah 'mogok nasi'.
sedap giler makan nasik lauk siakap stim limau dan sup sayur. chilli crab can wait hehe..

n since now i can be rest assured and totally clear of my conscience when i eat my rice (again, smaller volume!), xyahla layan roti/bagel hari2 kot..sedap mmg sedap. leh alternate with normal lunch aa camni. alternate ngan bekal xdelaaa keriing idea.
ape pon dah beli dua bungkus kena kasik abes la kaaannnn~

toasted bagel for bfast?
sounds yummy.

9:09 PM

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Saturday, February 19, 2011

tea at LeVain Boulangarie Patisserie,KL




seafood oglio


baked chocolate tart


milk chocolate cheesecake

owh belum 10days, so no update yet. haha~
tp amazingly benda ni, mmg buat rasa kenyang. light bfast n lunch je pon..malam dah kol 10 pon tak lapar lagi..so it is all will power lah..kalau jenis yg tak lapar tak makan, mmg effective la kot.
tp kalau tak tahan dgn godaan fav.food , sup ayam la sup ekor la..char kuew tiow laa agagaga..tak guna gak kot~
haha..

tp ari ni bekpes nestum jek..lunch mangga sebijik. still rase full mcm dah makan nasik. gini kalu leh je tahan sampai dinner, br amek proper meal.
as advised by cik eh puan tuty, org gila je totally ditch nasik!

satu jek prob..sgtla byk nak kena minum air..kalau ikut calculation mau kena minum dlm 5~6 litre, sampai rase cam mabuk air.
pastu asek kena gi toilet hoho...

tokorode...nak update pasal that place we went for tea last tuesday actually - lagi2 makan hohoho~

LeVain Boulangarie Patisserie, Jalan Delima ( off Jalan Tun Razak..ke Jalan Imbi??), a bungalow turned into a shop, with very nice setting

speciality is bread and pastries, but they also have pasta and such. and owh, of course very well presented cakes!
i had milk chocolate cheese cake - omg so yummy. probably the best choc cheesecake i've had so far!
and the baked chocolate tart that jem had was quite something too!
the pasta..the seafood oglio was good. but the creamy pasta was somehow not quite. muak agaknye sbb too creamy.

so tea turned out to be an early dinner. lately its becoming a weekly routine - meeting up somewhere randomly, for a round of catching up.

next, karaoke kot. gian nak melalak.







1:05 PM

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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

mari turunkan berat badan~

*update*
shuutt..demm geli dan tak sedap benda ni. aaaa....camne ni ;-(

ehem..
mlm ni start satu 'regime' baru utk realisasikan plan turunkan berat badan~
tak byk pon sikit pon ok laa kan.
nak exercise byk sgt alasan dan susah sgt nak cr masa..so sambil nak jumpe masa leh exercise tu, nak start amek 'sthg' as pemangkin ka konon..
ape namanya? aa tunggu lg 20 hari kalu berjaya baru leh share..kalu tak biarlah rahsia jelah~

will update every 10 days from now.

the plan is to take the 'pemangkin' accordingly.. and for a start, start esok bfast cereal balik. no more nasi lemak or mee goreng minyak or nasi goreng kicap~
dah siap beli cereal yg sedap punye ( yg plain nanti muak terus tak jadik hehe..)
dan susu fresh sebotol..takmo tertipu dah ngan susu rendah lemak tu. tgk ingredients jadik suspicious lak - susu betul ke tiruan ni? byk sgt bahan nye..kalau yg susu fresh tu ing. dia satu jek - susu lembu segar~
huhu..dasar anak susuan lembu~

lunch n dinner takde strategi lagik..kurangkan nasik je kot.. dan air manis..waa ni susah~
esp. part kurangkan nasi tu...leh biul oo sehari tak jumpe nasik..

target?
aaa
dpt turun dkt2 dua genggam jadik laaa..
bleh melaram time ngan baju kebaya baru bulan dpn nye eknduri..erkk sempat ke?
lgpon plan nak gi check up next month..kalo takmo kena tarbiyah ngan doktor..baikkan turunkan itu BMI~

fuhuhu~

10:40 PM

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Monday, February 14, 2011

wedding - k.zila&a.hafizan@felda palong~







hoho okeh. 3 entries in one night.
sementara ade mood :-)

wedding kak fazilah ( colleague la technically tho not exactly same office).
sgt tumpang happy biler k.zila datang jumpe last month mintak amekkan gambar majlis dia..dah quite 'matured' orangnye..jodoh lmbt sket but Alhamdulillah akhirnya bertemu jua.
orangnya sgt la sepadan, rupa pon ada iras2, age wise a bit matured but still segak dan steady :-)
well, men can life begin at 40 kan?
haha..
menariknya, yg jadi pengapit waktu bersanding tu tak lain tak bukan anak bujang si pengantin lelaki sendiri. untung k.zila kawen2 terus dpt anak :-)
no pun intended serious! baik dan bersopan lak tu budaknye.
sweet je dia meneman ayahnya. and family pengantin perempuan pon nampak sgtlah sweet ngan dia.
hai naseb baek budak lagi la consider still student gitu, if besar sket lagik, ramai aa pasnih membodek kak zila kuakua~

2:16 AM

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cny, wedding, bday treat..


sedah&Peoi wedding@teluk intan

spot wajib: menara condong teluk intan :-)


outdoor shot at some abandoned old bungalow~


the cutest couple!

bday treat@Empire shopping gallery

colorful macaron


ikura yg puchi-puchi~


sushi set and unagi kabayaki



yummy uni!!

lg pasal bday..tak abeh2~
saje jadik excuse jek ekceli..
naza asked me out for a treat sempena bday. i've long wanted to go to the empire shopping gallery-the new place in subang (near subang parade). mainly because i heard the place have many little cafes that serve nice desserts - cakes, macarons...still craving for some good cheese cake (yg buat sendiri tak puas hati), and also colorful macarons.
so Empire shopping gallery we went a week after my bday - ekceli the sunday after that cny break of a fun but tiring 2-days in teluk intan. attending and shooting an ex-schoolmate wddg. dr nikah to berkhatam to bersannding and outdoor. all in one. i wish ade partner bile buat benda ni..senang sket nak develop ideas and share kepenatan tu~

photos sedang di edit. mmg agak seronok sbb they are such a sporting and cute couple! mmg senang la keja sket..tak kekok sgt. and having a friend was good too. byk gak dpt idea :-)

anyways, the day at the Empire ..we went for lunch tp sbb dah terlambat, the japanese restaurant we wanted to go dah close for lunch. so we decided to wait for dinner. lepak at the loaf ( the pastery restaurant by Tun M) for over 2 hours! the unplanned heart-to-heart talk!i dont get to share my insights on things often..especially not in person. so bila suprisingly ade mood nak share tu, it actually made me feel better.

the dinner btw, was awesome!
simple japanese food. we even had 'uni' = sea urchin yg the last time i had some 6-7 years ago it was pretty bad i also puked! owh yeas my standard for uni is very high..tak tahan the 'smell' of those yg not fresh!
so this time it was pretty impressive that i cud actually have a 2nd bite! (err..not that one need to bite into those uni..)..maybe lacks a bit on sweetness. but oishii all the same~
others like the sushi, sashimi and of cos the unagi mmg takyah mention dah mmg oissiiii~

we thot of going to one of those lil'cafes that serve very delicious looking cakes (owh those cheesecakes!!) and macarons tp perut cam dah no space..so ended up tapaw-ing some macarons later. my fav. is the green tea and nutella. definetely must-try if i ever make them again. the plain ones..hmm..rase mcm sendiri buat lg sedap kot..they somehow taste less almon-dy.

lately mcm selalu lepak ngan naza :-)
sometimes together with jem when he's free. and opah when he's not in tokyo.
my friends yg paling sempoi and impulsive. i know that i cud ask them out anytime..but if only they dont live that far..well puchong and also kl is not unreachable la but from this side of the world dah mcm ilang stamina nak drive jauh2 biler balik dr meeting them up..
today pon sepatutnye meeting naza at this french pastry and dessert shop somewhere jalan imbi..tp ceh dgn bijaknye dah tertinggal wallet lam keta hsemate balik from bahau yesterday





1:19 AM

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Sunday, February 13, 2011

-29th bday-






ok..instead of the usual 2Xth bday, i'm putting it as it is, it was my 29th bday last 2 weeks.
kinda delayed la jugak this entry kan..
nevermind..

nways,
as planned, took a day off on the 28th of jan..a day packed with great girlfriends/close friends.
morning till noon, pampering self at the spa - abes satu badan kena buli dek therapist kat spa tuu by the time settled mmg rase cam best gilerr~
rase cam nak frequently gi spa pasni..ari tu amek milk bath..next time nak cr tpt yg ade 'water bath' (read: mandi bunga!) laks ~
high time dah ni haha~
adehh..

after spa, had a nice japanese lunch at OU with the girls..and a round of window shopping.
uhh..if only there were more time maybe it wud hv been more than just 'window shopping'~
split up in the eve, then meet up plak with a diff bunch of friends. since diorg keja that day, maghrib gakla br jumpe. siang2 lagi dah book diorg utk tgk mubi malam tu - well, actually tunggu org ajak, tp since nampak gaya cam tunggu buah kelapa tak gugur, turn out sendiri yg ajak dan book~
we watched the green hornet..agak best walaupon takdela sampai pecah panggung.
supper later at williams walaupon mata sorg2 dah merah tahan ngantuk esp. pakcik yg kena balik jauuhh tu..12midnight passed quietly just as i wanted it to be. surrounded by some great ppl in my life these past few years - one who probably knows me best and worst, and some who' i know are always around if i need them, and always treating me like a good friend..and one who i wanted to be there that moment simply because he is him. next year is unexpected. so at least this year, he's still around when i really wanted him to be.
lately i've been playing with the idea of dropping a bigger hint..emotion build-up dlm dah mcm nak meletup but i just cant figure out how, and when and if it is even do-able...its so obvious that dia cpt je panik biler mcm hint sket2. kalau hint 'besar2' or ckp terus, dunno la how the reaction wud be. mau tak bercakap balik pasniii... haiihhh ...

nways..enuff tentang dia.

balik malam tu not long after that hsemate plak balik bwk cuppies yg sgt kawaii..perasaan dpt bday cake tu tetap best no matter if u're 9 or 29 y.o! ngantuk2 tu pon makan la jugak sekeetul cupcake amek hati hsemate :-)

the day itself, january 29th. pagi2 lagi dah gather ngan besties, amal n c.yam + ayra di rumah keluarga angkat :-) adik angkat pon ade pulang dr JB lol~
ade lagi kek!!! for me ayra who just turned 2 y.o 2 days earlier :-)
berebut rebut nak tiup lilin ngan aunty!
we later made our move to bukit tinggi for our long-awaited weekend getaway.
they are vr sweet to actually spare the weekend they shud be spending with mr.hubs and family to be on a lil overnight trip. how i miss it like old times, but under current circumstances, we're lucky to have this trip not so far away from home.
it was raining all the way tho saturday-sunday so not much of the place we cud enjoy, but we (esp.ayra!) really enjoyed the room heh..i slept the most tho mcm nak berlawan ngan ayra..it was the week that i was quite busy with work so mcm amek peluang nak catch up on sleep pon ade..tak patut betul! puas kena bebel ngan c.yam haha~
tp girls, i heard jek all the gossips hehe..sorry, in the end i hvnt really talked what i promised i to talk, i didnt want to spoil our weekend with sappy stories! they will only make me cry and i didnt want to cry..errr how wud we explain that to ayra anyway kan? heh..
malu aunty ngan ayra, believe it or not i didnt touch a single rabbit when we were at the rabbit park tp ayra main ngan the rabbits mmg mcm tak geli langsung! abes rabbit tu sumer kena paksa makan~
kejap jek dah 2 y.o..owh lps ni nak dpt lg sorg 'anak buah'! cant wait to see whether its a flower girl or a flower boy~

we left bukit tinggi quite early on sunday as it was raining non-stop.
had a great time all in all..dunno biler lagi nak ade chance like this but we did promise to catch up once in a while :-)

which reminds me, a celebration is much needed girls!!!

11:26 PM

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Sunday, February 6, 2011

saying the words...

i am so tired of keeping it inside, waiting for sthg that wud probably never happen.
it may not be perfect, it may not be right but this much i know it`s true...

i know it wud probably just break me again..but at least i will never have to regret leeting it go, watching the days pass as it grows deeper yet further away. knowing that one day i will break anyway.
for once i shud probably just do what the heart says, and say 'whatever~' to the consequences...
so when i do break apart, i know i`d taken my shot at sthg i wanted but failed, rather than just holding on to endless prayers.

matter of the heart is hard and confusing, always for me.
but i survived it once, so why not twice?
at least then i cud really let go and stop holding on to my little dream.

doesnt matter how..lets just catch a deep breath, and prepare the worst.

:-

2:27 AM

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Friday, February 4, 2011

february weddings~


uhh..
will be going up north today..in fact ni tgh tunggu member stuck jam kat jalan duta..haih cuti raya cina sehari jek ke jln clear?
an ex-schoolmate nye wedding, mlm ni nikah, esok sanding. i'll be the o.p, sort of.
cam malas pon ade, time ckp 'yes' tu excited, tp biler dah dkt, malas haha..
yg tak bestnye shoot member sendiri, u miss all the fun with other friends ~
next week pon ade another one, colleague nye pulak. last minute request, tak sampai hati nak say 'no'..

sambil menunggu ni sempat lg bekpes/brunch ciskek semalam..
ermm..
tak best sgt pon kek buat sendiri. rase mcm tak lps lagi..

selalu buat biler ade occasion, leh bawak gi opis kasi org makan..ni buat time takde org.
tak best..


11:13 AM

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cake and dinner

~ gula melaka oreo cheesecake - typical oreo cheesecake infused with gula melaka and lemon zest.





creamy salmon and shiitake pasta with pan-grilled salmon~

guess what..
its a record.
one whole-complete day with no communication with human - i mean vocally.
except if i count that cashier guy over the counter when i went out stuffs for my cake. eh did we exchange any words? guess not.

owh yeah.
i made the cake..as it turned out.
of cos it tastes good, i know it'd taste good, i was just craving for a nicely presented baked cheesecake instead of having it on my own plate at home alone, i pretended that i cudnt make it myself. but the crave got to stop..
so i enjoyed that one lonely-slice, and kept the rest in the fridge.

one lucky fridge i say~

owh and also made dinner. after skipping breakfast, lunch...i owe it to my own body to feed it a good meal.


12:24 AM

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Thursday, February 3, 2011

crazy crave....

i hate this craving.
i hate it that i am too lazy to make it myself.
i hate it that i am thinking of having it alone...
:-(

1:47 AM

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pendam rasa..,


kau yg buat rasa bahagia
kau yg buat kupendam rasa
kau yg buat rasa derita

kau yg bernama cinta...

12:41 AM

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