sitting, waiting and wishing

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Hello new place!

Genap seminggu kerja di tempat baru.
Suprisingly, took me a week to post an entry on it.
bz?
hehe..
Ok, first week observation and impression.

This place is so demm programmed! Everything has a system, a work procedure, a support link.Almost everything is applied/done online.
On my first day of work, the only manual form i filled up was the form at the security guard to enter the premise.

Then from that point on, i had this link on the portal that shows the step to settle down as a new hire.
From applying for laptop to all the different accounts for all the apps and system, and also updating my personal info record - everything is done online.
When necessary I would contact the pic through office communicator (chat) and get instructions through that..
Requested a laptop on monday and by thursday I was already told to collect the pc, which was the only time I got to meet a person outside my team - aside from the receptionist and the guards. Haha.

Trainings?
A list of trainings to complete by this week..but I am not required to even leave the office.
Training also online!
Either by powerpoint or video.
feww..itu ngantok!

Still trying to understand the instruction for some of the settings on the new laptop.
Derr...previous place any pon just complain to it team pastu all settled!
huhu.

Other than that..teammates are all friendly. Meeting new ppl everyday as its on shift. So dok rotate2. As for me am still normal hours so this is the time to meet everyone la.
There are 2 japanese colleagues - one female and one male.
Too bad..sudah kawen daa yg male tu pon.
Dua2 kawen ngan malaysian..
yg mamat tu, dah x mcm jepun, dgn bermisai berjanggut nye.
so malaysian hehe. In general the place is a multicultural environment, typical mnc company.

Work culture?
True, very casual as in there's no problem coming in a few minutes late. Lunch or break time is flexi, even to run errands like going to the banks, p.office etc. As long as your hours are sufficient for the day.
shift staffs need to take turns taking breaks tho

hours tracking is done systematically.
No ngelat2 haha. Else, cannot bill customers properly.
The products here is time (=service) so thats very logical.

Superb facilities.
The multipurpose hall consist of a kids nursery, hall, gym etc.

There are break rooms everywhere with coffee machines for taking drinks or eat lunch.
yet, i dont see people loitering around taking breaks in groups.
i guess, ppl can be disciplined if they are given the chance to practice it  :)
A good point to ponder.

Its just that..everything is so systematic, i dont even get to meet HR! For all i know the hr person cud be somewhere else!
updated n applied everything online..a demm lot to register and set up. And sometimes i do wish there's a real person that i'm dealing with. like yesterday when it took me two hours to install printer..followed the s.o.p but my laptop smhow cudnt detect thr network printer. Had to contact helpdesk who were very helpful..but well, some things can be easier done in person :) Traffic is a bit bad going back home..but still ok on normal days. But took me an hour today coming to work instead of half an hour because there was an accident on SILK. And its quite nice having my nephew to layan at home. Maybe will be staying with them longer. Better if can get a home that i can settle down terus..not another transit. More importantly..i feel nervous again That feeling i havent felt for quite a bit back there n then. From the things i observe and hear, its very performance based. No seniority basis. Gotta work and gain your positions. Nervous yes. In a good way. Its back to surviving again.



1:11 PM

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Angin kuskus.

Woh..badan skrg ni sungguh sensitif.
pagi ni woke up with headache and loya2..
Stayed back a bit last night, skipped dinner xde mood nak makan sorg..
Malam td pon rase angin actually..but degil x makan and letting it got worse.

Aku pon x sure why aku still dok beria pulun..maybe a part feels guilty nak tinggal keja camtu je to whoever takes my job..maybe gak a part of me just wants to savour my last moment being a design engineer - sekkeisya@設計者,that was what i was so determined to become while i was in uni.
study kat nihon kalau buat mechanical mmg that is the most common. Ye la nihon mane exposed dgn o&g ke etc. Mostly its r&d n manufacturing.
Target mmg masuk r&d mane2, sekkei benda..and i managed to do that. Clap2.
errr tho i dont think i did any much research, but i did design some things la.
and for all this while, walau mcm2 member ckp, walau kdg2 rase inferior dgn others nye keja, income etc - there are other things i cud do that wud pay more esp with japanese under my repertoire, but i fought on.
i didnt care. Maybe sbb dah terbiase start2 keja dgn tempat yg sederhana..

unlike certain ppl yg start big, beli rumah sampai kena bayar 3000 sebulan..geleng kepala. Mmg confirm xleh survive keja sini camtu.
haha. makan pasir.

It wud be nice having a nice house, but errrr, rumah besar pon dok sorg x best sgt kot hehe.
So the way i see it, semuanya berhubung kait, dah elok2 je aturannya.

..and so i never regret anything, cos at one time 'here' was exactly what i wanted and needed.
Let the devil who speaks 'kalau dari dulu lagi buat kan bagus..' go to ..err where they belong.

But maybe thats why i'm a bit sad..leaving a place u've grown so attached to, friends especially. For a social freak like me who takes forever to warm up to people, this is a challenge. Although i know it cud be a positive change.

I am sad because i am leaving not because i so wanted to, but because i am so scared at being hurt again., scared of being that vulnerable and not able to do anything. Because i cant change how things work..my career means a lot to me as it is among other things that's real, so i cant let it bring so much negativity into my life.
My work has to work.

Maybe this new job (..cant even call it a career yet..) comes with a better pay, less headache, better location, good prospect if one is willing to work hard.
But money was never the motivation for me..what keeps playing in my head is that i dont get to be what i wanted to be anymore. Big possibility is that this marks the end of what i started doing 11 years ago..
It is so sad.

Exactly 7 years into the working world, and i finally accepted defeat in this area..
moving on to somewhere where i hopefully find something good too.

8:46 AM

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Tuesday, April 2, 2013

後ろ姿

...あなたの後ろ姿もそろそろ消えていく,見えなくなる。
きっと懐かしく思うよ。。。

何だろうこの要らない気持ち。

10:33 AM

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