sitting, waiting and wishing

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Time and space

Lesson learned, i cant wait till space and time brought me somewhere..i have to create the space and time.
work is not bringing me to people and places.
So i gotta start sthg new, a new routine, sign up for people, make new friends.
So it will make it feel alright to stay around but not feeling so static and boring.
So i can stop spending alone boring weekends counting the hours.
so weekends will feel more fun than mondays, and evenings and nights stop being so empty, so driving back home in the evening does not make me feel so down and empty.
seriously, going back home at the end of the day really is difficult nowadays.
So i can randomly just call somebody up for a quick meal rather than go to bed hungry.

Or maybe i can learn sthg new and be useful for a cause.
There's no way i'm going back to school but there's a lot in mind.
there's tajwid that i've been thinking to study,  there's baking and stuff, there's craft and bag making..there's volunteering.
or i cud start reading again. Some serious issues i have interest on. Like the palestine-israel issue, the bin laden family, Islamic history, financial freedom...local politics etc.

Owh..gotta make a point to start finding out and understanding how to and how much to buy a house. I reaxmd it here and there but i'm still blurr. I mean how much cash i gotta have in hand..i still dont get how the hell do i pay a 10% d.p for a lets say, 250k home, if that is even affordable. I know there's epf money i can take out but do i get to take it before the big d.p? If thats the case than maybe there's hope. If not, i am too scared to even start hunting. If i gotta have the cash first before epf can be drawn, i dont think it wud be even possible. There's no hole to korek anywhere..thats not even considering how much i can commit to it monthly..there's still car loan, personal and family commitments.

Besides i am a sucker of anything processy and protocally. I hate waiting. i hate going through aplications, meeting people here and that..lawyers? Agents?
if only i can just pay somebody to do everything.

But as it is, can no longer wish i wont have to deal with the process on my own. Gotta figure out a way to do it and hopefully get it done next yr if possible since well, as it turned out i will be sticking around here for more years to come.

Maybe it will be nice, having a nice small home.
If possible, it will have to be fresh and new. I hate second hand stuff.
Doesnt have to be big, dont want it to be big.
as long as the location is ok, no traffic chaos, not to far from civilization, easy for my parents to come and a safe environment for me to come and go and live in with no worries.
Space ia not priority, as big space wud only emphasize how empty it is.

1:38 AM

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