sitting, waiting and wishing

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

gloomy thursday

Hmm..i dont remember what was my state of mind when i posted my last entry. Miserable definety but at what level?

Thursday, we were still doing work like mad when other ppl were already starting to pack their stuff, do 5s and move to their new allocated places. The restructuring also effect out sitting layout. I lost some really big existence, who have to move to another office on the ground flr while we stay at the 1st.

That is already sthg that upset me, and the whole new grp thing..

So in the evening when the new dgm started babbling abt moving, i got really upset. Work was still the priority, yet we need to move and the thought that by moving to that new place, being in that small grp under the wrath of the person i cannot tolerate anymore,that thot just cracked my head. I felt at the verge of exploding, i had to resist myself from screaming in the office. Maybe then i'll get some attention?

So at one point..after a few on and off, i really cudnt stop crying. Mata dah bengkak.

I was in the toilet for more that one hour..trying to stop but juat cudnt.

Tq to kawan2 rapat yg meneman dan bg moral support...mmg rase leh loose it kalau nak tahan sesorg.

At one point mmg dok tahan sgttt..dah penat nak menyusahkan memember2 fikir masalah ni..

Tp tulah,tahan punye tahan mmg last2 share gak ngan member..

End up thursday tu..with a few friends nye push, i finally gave up. Last hope, kena gi jumpe boss to slowtalk. Err of cos not the boss yg evil tu.

Tp it was too late, bosses sume mtg x smpt nak jumpe dah. But i did text him n he immediately replied to have a session the following morning.

Kalau bleh taknak jumpe boss n play the emo card. Kalau bleh nak jumpe boss ckp dgn tenang n profesional. Tp both me n the boss knew thats not gonna happen.

Khamis malam tu spjg malam fikir ape nak ckp.bermain main dlm kepala mcm radio rosak.rasenye i only slept at around 4am camtu.

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12:53 AM

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