sitting, waiting and wishing

Thursday, April 19, 2012

values.

...behind all these mess between me and work, i sense that there's always this sentiment from ppl around me,that at least there's no 'family' sacrificed in the process - spouse,kids or pets to the least.

Its almost as if i value less because i'm just myself,as if my time is less precious than those who are with families.

..as if maybe this is the reason why i am not settled with one just yet. That i wud be doing injustice to my family if i had my own.


Why am i feeling unjustified here?

Ppl with families no matter how long the day is wud go home knowing there are ppl waiting,kids to kiss goodnight eventho they're probably asleep and the comfort of a 'warm bed' - pun intended.


But for ppl like myself, after long hours of struggling to hold up at work, going back at such odd hours wud mean no social interaction with ppl, unless if u count talking to the dude behind the counter at 7e as 'interacting'.


There's no latenight pillowtalk whatsoever to let go of that day-long stress but a 'cold bed' most of the time left unmade, that often left me staring into the dark of the night feling often the worst of the day.

..longings and feelings have their creepy ways of finding their way inside my head at those hours.


So maybe, maybe if anyone thought at times like this, i wud realize for a while that i'm better off alone - they think wrong.

Because to me, its pretty much the other way around.

More than ever, i want to go home to sthg more than just a quiet room. With responsibilities more genuine than work, life will make much more sense. And surviving wud be a lot more urgent than just meeting this stupid deadline.

And maybe,maybe then i will be excused from not being a workaholic i'm turning to be.


@still at work.


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9:21 PM

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