sitting, waiting and wishing

Monday, October 31, 2011

terrible loner.

working my tuuuut off like crazy over the weekend, while still sticking to other important personal matters in life, friends important days etc. i wudnt want to miss their special moments because of some adhoc work, there still wasnt enuff time anyway. it wud break my heart to break my promises esp. to the few ppl that matter. only in doing so over the weekend, i had to some into the office afterwards, later in the eve. stayed untill later than 11.30pm on both saturday n sunday, alone in the office. tried my best not to think abt..ehem being alone in the building. tho honestly it wasnt that difficult, truth is i am more aware abt danger posed by human, bad people than of..ermm the supernatural..? i'm beginning think abt getting lights with timer for my home, so i dont have to get that cill down my spine everything i'm standing there in the dark fumbling over my keys to open the grill and the door..everytime i'm walking across the empty parking lot i wonder can i run fast enuff if suddenly a dog come after me, or worse some bad man with bad intentions..? what if i got a flat tyre? i dont even know if my spare tyre is well inflated. ok, got to check on that soon. owh n the tools. shud get one of those jack, the one that will be easier to operate . i changed my own tyre once, and it took me an hour because of the stupid jack. i think i even managed to ruin the tool that cae with the car. haha. ermm..ok, on a serious note, gotta get the right tool set as well. but what if its not tyres, if its sthg else..huh. car wudnt start ke. and its nea midnight. who wud i call? i just lost the last reliable gentleman an institution called a marriage. haha. hmm. ok fine maybe i cud call ah chai the btw, i thot maybe i cud leave the latest by 8pm wudnt be too late then for some decent hot meal, maybe gi mkn n.lemak ke or tapau some hot chicken soup or tomyam..but ended up in the office till 10++pm..stomach already growling like mad, head hurts..drove back home but instead of going straight back home, i started going around and around, deciding what to eat at this hour..truth is i feel like eating hot food, rice with chicken soup and telur dadar at my fav place, like old happier times, but to tapau at this hour? the place will be full of people. just cudnt do it. in the end i just parked my car smwhere by the road, and sedar2 i was crying. this is not what i want my life to be for even another year. feeling like there's no place to call 'home' after long hours at work. decided to just sleep on the empty stomach. i cud use some sleep nway, it will be another long day tomorrow.

10:54 PM

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