sitting, waiting and wishing

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Sad news.

Dua hari yg menyedihkan..tp penuh dgn hikmah.
dikejutkan smlm dgn berita pemergian seorg sahabat - suami kepada seorg sahabat rapat.
pemergiaannya yg mengejut aungguh mengharukan..leaving behind a wife and a 1 y.o ++ daughter who looks so much like him.
Lebih mengharukan..sepanjang mengadap jenazah malam td dah pengebumian, sahabat itu sungguh kuat dan tabah..seolah-olah sudah cukup menangis. Tak jumpa kata2 yg patut kuucapkan. I know she needa her time..we do what we always do. Seek comfort in silence.

Tapi hari ni selepas selamat pengebumiaan, bentengnya pecah, dan dia menangis sambil kami berpelukan, menceritakan kisah kejadian dan perasaannya.
Untuk anak mereka yg menjadi tanda cinta mereka, i know she'll be strong. I know i cant help much, but i will be her strongest shoulder.

Then balik ke rumah...sambil rest2 sebelum nak gerak ke putra heights dpt call from makcik yg ade info abt the babies.
the babies are...dia br dpt info. The baby girl x jd nak diberikan, the parenta yg baru cerai nak rujuk balik. And the baby boy lahir sudah, awal 2 weeks. And dah beri pada some family to jaga. Family xnak org luar.

So in 30 seconds, my hopes are gone. I cried for a minute and then thought, ini ketentuan Dia. Dia beri peluang aku rasa berdebar-debar dan memikirkan the reality of this thing..Dia beri peluang untuk aku betul2 fikir ttg cabarannya dan ape kekurangan yg aku perlu overcome. Dia beri peluang utk aku lebih bersedia mentally n financially for my next chance.

And yg paling penting, aku sedar aku tiada hak untuk bersedih. My friend lost her husband today..how can i be sad over a baby i dont even have yet?
i will have time to spend with her n her daughter now, that is happiness too.

Its still heartbreaking..but i'll live.
Maybe next time.

4:13 PM

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