I used to devote my time and life for work cos i felt that was the only thing that i cud get satisfaction in, the only thing that pays me back good results if i do it right, when in all other aspects of life i dont even know whats right or wrong. In all other aspects i dont get them even when i set my target and work for it..i guess, maybe it takes longer for the other stuffs to work out in my case.
So when even work fails me, i was heartbroken. For me it was a personal failure, as if i hadnt failed enough elsewhere..it brought me so down i started to hate myself along with everyone else around.
and so much sadness n hatred is only making it worse for me.
But the worst has passed..i've cried so much the past 2-3 weeks i feel so dry and heartless.
I am cynical most of the time now and i dont have the thought of being nice to people anymore..I get annoyed easily especially by people who talk so much.
I try not to hurt, but i will not please people, esp. at work. They stopped deserving my good thoughts when they failed to be fair to me.
So i am trying to get out of the zone. I am trying to care less about work, find something more exciting to feel good about and maybe one day be proud of myself, not because of my work but because of who i am and what i do.