sitting, waiting and wishing

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Babies updates.

Update abt both the families - both are just miskin, no background issue. Maknenye dua2 anak sah taraf..Subhanallah, sekali datang Dia beri pilihan sampai dua pada aku. Terpulang pada aku skrg sama ada nak atau tak - bezanya yg satu tu girl, dah lahir, satu lagi tu, boy kena tunggu. My instinct kuat pada yg dah lahir ni, walaupun dia baby girl and ade sikit complication in the future. Tp aku yakin yg kalau aku bersikap open dari awal, it wont be a big issue. When she's big enough, she'll get to know that she has two families.
Instinct ni maybe berpunca drpd instinct to grab whichever comes first. Sebab yg ni dah ade depan mata. the other one tu, since tgh pregnant, aku kena konsider cost..dan mcm2 bleh jd selagi baby lom kuar..aku xleh paksa if later diorg tukar fikiran...

Cuma satu pasal issue hubungan anak susuan dgn suami ibu susuan tu belum dapat reply ustaz lg..then yg juga penting, if aku nak amek baby girl tu pon aku still perlukan masa utk prepare all the physical stuff. Preparation dari segi ruang dan facilities untuk dia dalam rumah skrg, clothes, car seat, stroller or carrier...owh and babysitter arrangement since i wont have confinement cuti. and breast pump too. Owh itu mahal kan?
Sumer tu perlu cost. Org lain amek masa 9 bulan utk prepare, logiknye untuk aku nak prepare immediately tu agak susah.
tapi peluang mi aku tau x akan datang selalu.

Idea yg datang skrg is to help with cash first utk sebulan ni, which aku kena usaha la mane nak fork out a bit of cash,x sure bp byk wud be enuff to hold them from giving her up to somebody else..
Sementara tu buat preparation mane yg wajib dulu like carseat n stroller n bbsitter arrangement, basic clothes, diapers and stuff.
maybe leh pinjam newborn stuff Ilyas and from friends..aku risau benda besar2 je like carseat n stroller, also baby cot and pengasuh tu. Cos i'll be alone to carry her around so logistics mmg sgt penting.
Dpt bonus akhir december is just perfect timing to get everything else. *trying hard not to get too excited*
and  maybe aku leh start jumpe lactation counselor yg a friend nak kenalkan tu  aku harap costnye bearable jugak...

Sounds like a do-able plan.
Walaupon first and foremost aku tak ckp lg ngan family...takut sbb xleh nak expect ape pandangan diorg. Tp mmg kena gitau vr2 soon laa...

I just hope the family agrees about the one month preparation period...aku xlehla bagi cash byk2 pon. Maybe few hundreds utk diorg beli susu  diapers etc. Or maybe aku shud belikan je barang2 perlu utk baby n ibu?

Rase mcm nak jumpe mak member tu esok gak..byk sgt soklan. Penat nak tunggu mamat ni feedback satu2.

Will be updated soon.

P/ s: i learned my lesson recently that i cannot commit my heart and soul into work alone as it breaks me when it fails. And i prayed for Him to give me something more meaningful to live for.
Maybe this is His answer for me?
A heart for my soul.

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