Just a few days ago, as i was having a bad day..feeling all moody, and guilty for feeling moody..huh..not even in the mood for jokes, when smbody made a really stupid joke that was so funny and hillarious i just burst into laugh. It was a few seconds of magic when i felt the burden in my chest just cleared a bit.
it struck me like a punch in the face realizing how effective laughing is to turn over the blues.
Unfortunately all i do when i'm stressed out is pushing ppl away..i cant expect ppl to put up with my shit, right?
Even the closest person cud go away...which makes it even more sad.
its so obvious i need to laugh to heal. I need somebody to make me laugh. I miss having somebody who makes me laugh.
But how long untill that person finally give up?
And i cant pretend my face or mouth as i'm always lousy at pretendingat. an i tend to say things that offend ppl so i'll normally just shut up. Which i realize is just equally irritating and mengada-ngada.
I realize that i'm just being selfish, that i've probably annoyed everyone who matter.
Maybe i really need to learn how to tickle myself, and laugh. And laugh like mad.
Crying sometimes help too..and i need no practice at that, i can do it alone for hours.
but laughing doesnt hurt and feels a lot nicer.
So is it a bad thing to be a person who needs others to make me smile and laugh?