sitting, waiting and wishing

Saturday, April 21, 2012 the person i miss and trying to undo.

I am not talking to u because it hurted.

Well it still does.

U are not talking to me bacause u dont want to give hope u know i was holding on to.

Which is maybe the wiser thing to do.

The truth is i miss talking to u, all the non-sense and the with-sense we used to do.

I miss whining to u and get witty remarks back, smtimes funny smtimes serious. Maybe i miss the serious part more.

The truth is i miss laughing at your jokes out in the open cos it's difficult doing so quietly inside.

I miss being the person that i am, the girl that i am when we're good.

The way u treat me like the person u are, even tho it was all maybe just out of favor and pitty.

The truth is the butterflies are still pretty much here.even when we're talking behind the walls and through other ppl.

Ignoring and avoiding u seems like the only thing to do..but clearly not the simplest.

I still catch a glance of u and look back for a second glance.

Ur laughs still send chills down my spine.

I used to say i wished we cud stay being friends,despite the things that happened and did not.

But i take that back now..cos we kept being friends back and forth and i kept hurting again and again. Apparantly we're so good at that.

It is still a tempting idea, to keep this feeling inside without thinking of getting it back in return. To just love without being loved back.

But for what?

My wish now is to move beyond this 'missing' part n keep u in a secret box, a reminder to never do one of the stupidest thing in a friendship.

I screwed up.

But u, u missed ur chance of knowing a person who loved u to bits. I on the other hand had nothing to loose.

So to tell the truth, i think its ur loss more than mine.

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11:48 AM

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