Thursday, December 1, 2011
blessing in disguise
its been a weird few days. but its been a blessing in disguise. i learned some things.
i learned how to ask for help and let myself be helped.
i learned that its ok to be vulnerable and depend on others.
i learned that sometimes it is body over the mind - the body screams for it when it needs the rest.
i learned that sometimes it is ok to be selfish, especially when it comes to health.
..and mostly i learned that i am surrounded with so many kind hearted people who care about me more than i care about myself maybe. when i am still a bit reserved about asking for help ( i'm doing it slowly..), ye la aku x biase dimanjakan all this while, they come one by one offering help and assistance. bringing me to the clinic, bringing me food (too much food maybe!), getting worried who's bringing me to see the doc, or simply just by calling or texting to ask 'how r u?'
today the knee doesnt hurt that much nmore, i'm actually considering to go to work tomorrow, tho to be honest, its not because i'm crazy about work, but more because risaukan bosses yg risau pasal keja2 aku tu ( bukan risaukan aku pon..)..tp td siang mcm dah determine gakla nak keja esok. dah bwat strategi siap tu. parking dkt guard, sampai awal so that no rush, leh take my own sweet time walking and climbing the stairs to my office..limit walking around, maybe stay in during lunch. bla2..err..control freak tetiba time camni.
tp by petang td dah tak bp sure..huhu..sorg2 dok call tanye pasal g.l, and tak kasik aku mai opis esok. siap dtg amek ref.letter kat umah, and diorg kata bg diorg setelkan apply g.l kat h.r esok...err lelama i cudnt argue dah, in a way rase lega diorg ni buat the decision utk aku.
pastu sorg2 call2 nak bring over food@ajak makan..by the 4th person nye phone call, aku dah tak tahan nak gelak..huhu..gemokla camni kalau sumer nak sumbat makan. betullaa..org melayu mmg guna makanan tu tunjukkan concern and care kan? last2 sorg kawan come over, tapau hot tomyam soup, siap makan skali sambil sembang2. i'm so relieved, actually perut x lapar sgt pon tp after a few days dok umah sesorg, it means a lot to have someone to talk to :p
not to mention ade org yg offer nak amek cuti skali on tuesday tolong hantarkan aku gi umsc jumpe specialist..tsk rase sgt awkward. we used to be close, but for some personal reasons, we're not so close anymore...dia mmg jenis org yg aku tau wont say no kalau org mintak tlg, and that one thing apparantly never changed.
so i guess..although at some points aku dok tensen pasal org2 yg negatif, yg insensitive..org2 ni sebenarnye sgtla minoriti nye. dan selalunya org ni ermm ade sbb kot utk jd camtu. maybe dia ade benda2 lain yg pressure dia, or dia too paranoid nak tunjuk concern..xpelah kan. biarla diorg ni.
i am blessed that there are so many other kinder hearted ppl who's making me feel warm inside. so tho aku still ade tendency nak refuse org punye offer for help, at thsi moment i will try to follow the flow, aku tau diorg ikhlas, so why rob them off their good will? Sampai masa insyaAllah aku akan cuba balas jasa..tp semestinya Allah je yg betul2 dpt balas jasa mereka ni :P
so since tomorrow i MAY not be going to work..nak buat ape ni? huhuhu...seyes dah tak larat dok umah. as long as i be careful with my walking n driving, i can go smwhere else..right?
adik angkat a.k.a makcik si kecik baby wan nur alia asked me to come over, said shel'll cook for me (makan lagi!)..and i'm tempted! and it also means longer time to spend with cik wan over the weekend? :p
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